I know Im not the only one who has looked around at there life & thought I want more. Or how did I allow myself to get to where I am. I cant help but look at how 2014 has went for me & my child, & honestly wished I had done a lot of things differently. Dont get me wrong I am forever happy with who I am today & everyday. But there are so many things I would have tried to fix before they became broken. Friendships I would have fault harder for. A marriage I wouldnt have neglected. Love i wouldnt have lost. So many wrongs Id make right. Loose ends Id have tightened up. Emptyness in my heart, that shouldnt be there. But all these things that I failed to focus on, fix, repair, etc. Have me exactly where I am tonight. Laying in my bed next to a husband that I have forgotten how to truly love, friendships I have forever pushed away & lost. A heart full of questions, regret & fear. We cant undo the words after there spoken, or the hurt after it is done. Its not as simple as a single Im sorry, or please forgive me. The hate, anger, frustration, etc may go away at some point, but all that damage is left. I plan on mending fences in 2015. Focusing on a better me, a better mother & wife & friend. I cant become a better me unless I leave all the hurt a bitterness in 2014. So with that said, I hope to have an amazing 2015 starting tomorrow at midnight. For those who love me, I hope to have you apart of my life in 2015.
Posted on: Wed, 31 Dec 2014 03:15:31 +0000
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