I know Ive told some of you in person, but its finally been confirmed and I wanted to let everyone know. I got a job and am very excited for the next phase in my career -- Ive been hired as a Fossil Fuel Extraction Campaigner with ExxonMobil! Ill be putting my organizing skills to good use thinking of clever new ways to present fossil fuels as the energy sources of the future, and emphasize only the good that our products cause. Ill be able to satisfy my angry streak by viciously attacking anyone concerned about their health, future generations, or nature. And Ill be working as hard as I can to derail the efforts of those crazy climate socialist pinko commies. In my spare time I anticipate spending my newly-found obscene gobs of money to support other causes restricting civil liberties and impairing justice, donating to rational, reasonable politicians who understand how important it is to get re-elected next cycle, and finding an entirely new group of friends with which to spend my time. So excited for this next step in my career. Wish me luck! xoxo, Collin
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 19:42:01 +0000
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