I miss your face and your laugh so very much right now. I could just really use a hug. And not that shitty side hug but that full on, burried in your chest, squeezed extra tight hug. I need to smell you and hold you for just a minute today and I think id feel a little better. I know that traditionally it isnt something you and I did, but I just know in my heart that thats what I need right now. Im so upset right now and feel like no matter how fast I run towards the light, im steadily travelling backwards towards the empty dark. Like something is pushing the ground underneath me in the oposite direction while I mistakenly keep trying to push onward. I could use my big brother, and someone to say that this time, its okay, that this time I can cry, that this time sucking it up doesnt have to apply and that theyre there to make it better. Id even just hold your hand like we use to do while walking somewhere my legs couldnt quite go. Im defeated and know that no matter how much I wish or want, you just cant come save the day anymore, you cant be here for me like id like, even if you wanted to. I just miss you right now, im just upset right now, send me your signs to remind me in stronger than anything that comes up against me, that I have bigger balls than I think, and that im going to be fine.
Posted on: Sun, 31 Aug 2014 17:04:16 +0000
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