I realized today that sometimes even when are illnesses disabilities can be right there in front of peoples faces we can still be invisible....totally and completely invisible to a shop full if people (especially those at the register). We all know how JB Hi Fi has their lovely impossible line configurations for the register and how great they are to keep the swarms at bay but how impossible they are for a wheelchair, walker or most of all electric scooter? Well yes this was my dilemma. So I came up the side right next to the front of the cue quite frankly scared Id get told off for pushing I was so close and sat, and waited...first patiently, then a little disgruntled as my given place came and went and many more customers filed by, then angered as I constantly made eye contact with the 2 servers and they still looked on and invited others to come forward...I felt that horrible swelling in my body...that sadness that I hate so much and hide even from my closest of friends. They used to say I was born without tear ducts and here I am about to full out burst in JB at peak time! I politely said excuse me with a choke in my throat and they looked at me and said oh did you want something?.....still rising! No of course not I was just sitting there for the last 20 mins enjoying the comings and goings of others joyous lives as I thought about all the things on my list and the diminishing time I had left in my body and on my scooter hire to do it!!! Ive got stuff to buy!!! I cant get through the line! I said gesturing at the maze, oh omg Im so sorry I didnt realize you wanted something. Let me help you. We will give you a discount So as they processed my stuff the floodgates opened and all hell broke loose. I sat sobbing trying to hide my face somewhere, anywhere but I just couldnt. When they finished, the man felt pretty bad by that stage so then I felt extremely guilty, he asked if I wanted some water but I really just needed out. I grabbed everything and hightailed as fast as I could out of the shop trying to not knock over every thing in sight with my big red machine that turns me invisible, then out if the plaza tears streaming down my face people staring at me with the thoughts of so why is it this one time Im visible? Going through my head...
Posted on: Thu, 11 Sep 2014 10:24:21 +0000
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