I received à booklet in the mail from Mikes cousin Scott. Its called Rebuilding and Remembering. Since he is grieving for the loss of his mom, he gets these and has sent them onto me. This particular one has things in it for me, that it feels like I wrote it myself. It expresses so many feelings of mine, that I tried relating to all of you thru my posts. For instance, I quote...Some people in your life may treat your loss as if it were ancient history. They may be subtly---or not so subtly--- telling you to get over it or to get on with your life. Go ahead and ignore any messages like this. Give yourself permission to grieve for as long as you need to grieve. Your loss has shaken your life, and it takes a long time to pick up the pieces and find a way to put them back together again. Now I know my words were a little different, but it all had the same meaning. People do tend to rush others who are grieving into getting on with life. But reality tells us that its not all that easy. For one thing, people with jobs, although not ready to go back to work, have to grieve silently as they try to adjust and deal with their sorrow, while they delve into their jobs knowing there is no choice. Some people have small children to care for, so they put their sorrow on hold until they can schedule a time to grieve by themselves. Others have family and no jobs and live alone, so they have a lot more time to think, remember and feel the loss more than not. Any of the above mentioned are hard. Being alone in the house you shared with someone for however long, is hard, so you turn to whatever helps you feel better, or mend, or occupy your thoughts. Most of us, I have found out, has one outlet that has gotten us thru a lot of it. Its our computers. I talk to many widows, since so many of us have lost our spouses to this cancer. and we all say the same thing. The computers have helped us get thru our days. Whatever it takes, for however long it takes, then just know that we have to do whatever we need to do just to get thru it all. We were given this tragedy in our lives and no one is taught how to get thru it. We continue to love family and friends, but we have not a lot of choices on how to mend our broken life and hearts. Im glad I posted. I have a lot of people that really felt the same way and they realized that they were not alone. If I made people feel better about themselves, then it was well worth it. Although that wasnt my intention, I was pleased to know someone got some good from them. So I guess the moral of this is....dont ever feel guilty about the grieving process or how long it takes. It takes as long as it will take. No one can dictate how long. If they think they can, then they have never been thru it. Another thing that cropped up in this booklet, which makes me smile as Im tearing up (you know the bitter sweet aspect of this) Is this verse from Isaiah 40:31 which reads: But tho pose who hope in The Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. This verse became very important and special to Mike. He saw it at the Hope Lodge and liked it immediately. The plaque was given to him by Andrea, from the Lodge, and when we got home, he hung right away. He, for some reason, loved it and it has become very special and a sign of some sort to me. I want to believe it is Mike telling me hes ok, knowing when I see that verse, that it comes from him.
Posted on: Sun, 30 Mar 2014 22:01:05 +0000
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