I regret the person I was last year, but at the same time, I don’t regret it, because it brought me to where I am today, ready to receive the fruits of the spirit rather than chasing my dreams in an empty way. One of the things I have found myself praying for lately is wisdom and the ability to give good to those around me. I find that my heart is longing for that more than it’s longing for awards or husbands or dreams. I just need the strength and patience to execute wisdom and love. When I went to church yesterday, we talked about King Solomon, and it really resonated with me. In 1 Kings 3, when God tells Solomon, “Ask for whatever you want me to give you,” Solomon says, “I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties. Your servant is here among the people you have chosen, a great people, too numerous to count or number. So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong.” And I realized that that is my prayer. With my job and any future jobs I have, I don’t want to simply be some awesome journalist or win awards (although that would be a good addition), I want to be able to lead people through a spirit of discernment. I want to be able to soak in humility and grace and give light to a broken world. For the past year, I constantly threw bitterness everywhere because I thought I had been cheated. Now, I know that despite me being small and inadequate in every way, God has blessed me incredibly and has closed the doors of my past to make way for the future he wants for me. It’s not that God took these things away from me; it’s that God so loved me that he gave me desolation in order that I might grow. The world can keep its gems of wealth, relationships, and material things. I’ll take wisdom, please.
Posted on: Tue, 18 Jun 2013 04:42:11 +0000
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