I stood in the bathroom stall of the gym, staring at a pregnancy stick. Four minutes had past, one minute remaining. Doing the test wasnt just about knowing if I was expecting again or not it was me making the choice to put others before my own selfish gain. It was me reverting back to my compassionate and loving self, it meant apologizing to everyone I had hurt. Thirty seconds left............. Should I look or not? The last week had been disastrous, I embarrassed Ma publicly at a function, I had insulted Junaid by telling him I was the one who brought money in to the house and I had been horrible to everyone in general. Last night though was what made me decide to change. I hadnt seen Fareedah for two weeks, who cares right? Walking home meant I got more exercise anyway. Monday came and as I walked home I noticed Fareedahs car outside my driveway only she wasnt in it, someone else was. I walked past cautiously to the gate and tried to get into my house as quickly as possible when the man jumped out and approached me. I tried to jiggle my key faster into the lock but it jammed in my panic. Excuse me Amirah? the man asked. I cleared my throat, stood tall and answered in a confident voice yes. I didnt want this man to know I was terrified. The man handed me the keys to the car and an envelope and walked away. I moved Fareedahs car off the street into our garage before I opened the letter. It was such a nice and expensive car I didnt want it to get stolen. I sat down and opened the letter. Dear Amirah. Id like to apologize for avoiding you these past two weeks and for many other things. I never meant to come between you and Junaid but the love that the two of you share despite all the obstacles youve had to overcome, simply enraged me. I didnt understand how you could put up with it, I wanted to ruin you and Im so glad I tried. You see in trying to ruin you my heart opened up and saw your pain and your sacrifice. I realized in order to move away from my disastrous past I would have to move forward and forget my need for revenge. You showed me that by believing in Allah (SWT) so strongly one can heal in the knowledge that Allah (SWT) will grant you your dues in time. That if you have patience you will succeed and Allah (SWT) is the giver of contentment. I had been lacking that in my life and I covered my head because I was told to, I never saw the beauty of hijab or niqaab before you. You trying to save little children at school, you trying to help your husband despite what everyone says and the way you keep opening your heart to everyone even though they trample all over you. I want to be you, I want to light up because you see your baby stand. I want to add a million untidy notes from children to a box with flowers on it, I want Allah (SWT) in my life. I need contentment in my heart. The car is a gift to you for any suffering I have caused and tonight Amirah. I am going to change... I have big plans for tonight but first I need to right what was wronged. Im going to confront Abdul Haq about the rape. Love Fareedah. Abdul Haq had just gotten married, Abdul Haq was Junaids brother..........
Posted on: Mon, 17 Mar 2014 20:13:40 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015