I think it’s important that we understand the differences between our personal and professional relationships. When we’re clear about what we should expect from each type of interaction, we’re likely to avoid the pitfalls inherent in confusing the two. While it’s true that in both personal and professional relationships, people should respect one-another and strive to be reasonable, responsible and polite, it’s also true that beyond this, the two types of relationships diverge. In personal relationships, we value the quality of the connection with the other person. The closeness is an object in itself. We spend time with friends and family because it feels good to be with them. We care about each-other, want the best for each-other and are there for each-other. In our professional relationships, we might genuinely like the other person; we might even look out for each-other and support one-another. Still, this type of relationship is about helping the other person get ahead in their career. Our professional relationships are forged in service of our professional goals, whereas our personal relationships arise out of our basic human need for love, connection and belonging. The stakes are very different in the two types of relationships, as well: in a personal relationship, we risk being hurt or disappointed. In our professional relationships, our ideas could be stolen, our professional reputation could be undermined; we could even lose our job if we end up on the wrong side of a jealous or disgruntled supervisor or colleague. In personal relationships our pride is at risk; in professional ones our livelihood is, and this is why it’s so important to be that much more careful in the latter type of relationship. In our personal relationships we want to be open and straightforward. We want to be seen and appreciated for who we are. In professional relationships we need to be more strategic; we want to be well-liked, but not necessarily well-known. In the former type of relationship, we want to build intimacy; in the latter, over-sharing could lead to information being used against us.
Posted on: Fri, 23 Jan 2015 09:00:38 +0000
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