I want to die. I want to get out of here so badly. It isnt the stress, the workload..that much, I can handle. But everything else, god..I just want it to end. I just want to end. To cease existing, and to leave this whole world behind. I look at my friends and wonder what their reaction will be once they find my body. Would they cry? Would they even give a shit? Or would their true colors come out, and would they laugh and breathe a sigh of relief that I was finally gone? They all see me as a crazy, happy person who could never have a problem in the world. They just dont know that Im dying inside. I want to leave everything and just die. I wish I could tell someone, but I dont want to risk being judged. My friends make jokes about cutting and suicide, and I just laugh along so that they wont know Im going through them. But remove my shorts, and you will see those very scars they laugh about on my hips. I told someone about it before. The guy I thought understood me the most and wouldnt judge me. But when I told him, he cut me out of his life. I wouldnt be able to stand it. Im not as strong as I look. If someone ever did that to me again, Im pretty sure I wouldnt be able to control myself. Everywhere I look, I see possible ways to die. The trees, the bridges..it haunts my every second. I submitted something along these lines to this page before, and it never got posted. Ill probably still be alive tomorrow, but Ateneo may have an empty slot after this sem. I dont know. I dont know how much more I could take. Stop it. Please. Make it all stop. Let me leave. -I cant think of an alias but they said it was a requirement. School of Science and Engineering (SOSE) 2019
Posted on: Thu, 11 Sep 2014 06:03:35 +0000
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