💕I want to speak on something that happened to me today. Ive been debating about mentioning it because I HATE when people post the good deeds that they do for others, or give to others etc.. I feel like those should be private and done for the PURE sake of helping and not to receive attention or praise. With that said, this is far more about what I was given than what I gave and my gut says SHARE... I was driving home from rehearsal and had 30 minutes to kill so I decided to surprise my kid with pizza and movies when I picked her up from school. I altered my usual route to run the errand...Just one of the small things that led to this amazing moment. I exited a traffic ridden ramp to find a homeless gentleman begging at the top. I NEVER, repeat NEVER give to those asking on the street, as Ive had very poor experiences in the past when my gifts were abused. He was very slim, dressed warmly, maybe 40, standing in a lightly spitting rain, holding a simple sign that read I need help. As I approached the top my gut started to churn and my palms began to dampen. I just found myself unusually concerned for him. You could say I was then led to do something. I had two small sweet oranges in my car to snack on so without even thinking I rolled down my window reached out my fruit-filled hand and asked, will you accept food? Before I could even finish, he smiled, took the fruit and replied with fervent gratitude, yes, of course, bless you. Without conscious thought, before I even reached the light, I was blindly navigating myself toward a grocery store. This is when my conversation inside grew. Im not sure what to call it other than God, so I wont. It was simply the most empathetic and powerful and moved Ive ever felt and Im positive God was completely using me in that moment. The air of gratitude that man showed over two tiny pieces of sustenance was awakening to say the least. My plan quickly became, order the pizza, and get food for the grateful man I had just encountered while I waited. I pulled up to the pizza joint, and before I could enter I was drawn to a bakery just next door. Im not sure why I thought it was a good idea, perhaps that God thing again, but I confidently walked inside, and firmly asked the woman at the counter, will you give me some bread for a homeless man I just met? Without hesitation, she smiled as well and said sure, and how about some hot soup, its cold out?! I thanked her and went to the grocery store directly next door as well, and purchased some fresh fruit, veggies, snacks, water, and juice. I wish I could explain how far away from myself I felt, out of my body, possessed, emotional, calm... My words cant do it justice. I took the items and began the drive back to him, not knowing where I would stop, on the 6 lane congested road, beginning to tremble feeling hopeful. As I approached the corner where he stood, I said, screw it, stopped my car directly in front of a tri-met bus, put on my hazards, stopping every bit of that rush hour traffic and jumped out with the bags of goodies. He saw me coming.... He gave me this look, remembering I was the woman with the oranges 15 minutes earlier, and smiled with his entire helplessness....and that broke me. I put the food at his feet, and wrapped every last one of my hopes for him into the biggest hug I could muster at the top of the freeway ramp. I held onto him for a while, and stole from him that gratitude, and with that held is burdens for just a moment, whispered Merry Christmas and wept in his collar. He hugged me like he had been saving one up for a while. When I let go, he thanked me, with his hands, his eyes, his posture, tears, his words saying thats all that I needed. Incessantly. God bless you following every breath. What he did next reshaped my soul. I walked away, and he, with tear-filled eyes, hung his head in what seemed like disbelief, and slowly grabbed all of his belongings and moved them away from the roadside as if his brutal day of humbling himself enough to ask for help was finally done at just 3pm. I looked back, he was watching me go, both of us sobbing by now, me only nodding to him, choked up, acknowledging the wind carrying his thanks as I got further away. He placed his new bags near a bush secluded from view of the ramp, and gracefully fell to his knees, put his hands together, and began to pray. He didnt tear open the food, or search to see if id shopped in good taste, he just prayed. For whatever might be in those bags, for them appearing at all, for a break, perhaps for me to know some blessing or kindness. He simply prayed. I sat in my car watching him maybe 40 feet away, for maybe 20 seconds that resembled a small eternity, hazards ticking, horns honking, and awe and peace overcoming me. You know the ugly cry? Yeah, I was doing that. I finally started my car, and drove away not truly understanding the magnitude of what had transpired. I wrote ALL of this because I cant stop crying about it even now. What that stranger did for me was beyond powerful. All of the giving and hugging aside... He made me feel connected, appreciative, new, hopeful. Moved completely and fully by someone who knows nothing about me. And his ability to show me God in a way we had never been introduced. I dont know, maybe people have these experiences all of the time, not me. I cant put into any language the pain on his face, and how it transformed me, and before me. I cant put into words the motivation to touch this man that was God-willed. I cant explain how every bit of what I intended to give was actually absorbed right back into me. It was surreal, magical, soothing, power at its most dense, a true moment in time, turned pivot point. The culmination of those events grew me. That man changed my entire perspective. My life... And tonight Im praying he knows the recent impact his seemingly insignificant day has had on someone in this life.💜
Posted on: Sat, 20 Dec 2014 07:14:46 +0000
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