I was wheeled into the OR. Watching the florescent lights pass above me. I smiled and waved at my family as I passed them while they sat anxiously in the waiting room. Doc (Jons dad) had his video camera out, per usual. Their faces looked hopeful. Terrified but, hopeful. My dad smiled, fighting back tears and my mom gave me a thumbs up, I think. Ha, she would. That made me feel better. I still couldnt swallow the lump of fear in my throat, but I could feel our families love and prayers. Thats what kept me together. Go ahead and sit up for me, we will give you your epidural. I started to shake. I sat on the edge of the bed with my legs dangling over the side. I could hear the clanking of the metal surgical supplies. I looked at my reflection in the glass cabinet. Oh, Lord. I looked terrible. A nurse named Sarah stood in front of me. She placed her hands on my knees. Her curly blonde hair started to poke out from under her surgical cap. Her mouth and nose were covered under her mask. All I could see were her huge blue eyes. Claire, hug this pillow really tight. I need to you round out your back...take a deep breath, and Ill tell you when to release... She said smiling at me. But, no-wait. Where is Jon? I need him. I cant do this, he HAS TO BE HERE. I started crying. The sweet nurse immediately wiped my tears. He has to wait outside for a few minutes until we finish this part, okay? I promise he will be right in. I had to comply. Its not like I could start freaking out. I was so sick, I just wanted this to be over. I wanted my baby to be okay. After a few seconds of intense burning in my spine, I suddenly lost my legs. Well, everything from my ribs down, really. I lay there like a rag doll. Staring up at the huge bright light. I felt warm. The moment I saw Jon walk over to me was one of the best moments of my life. He was dawning that white sterile jumper, and a sweet surgical cap. He put his hand on my head. I knew we would all be okay. I dont remember many details. Seeing as I was REALLY out of it. But I remember telling him Go with Liv. When she comes out, you have to go with her. Make sure she is okay, please. And he did. Once he laid his eyes on her, he made Olivia his personal mission. Hes the best. And there she was. She was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Its hard to look back on that day; those two months following. I have never been more terrified in my whole life. Six months later our girl is getting bigger all the time. The biggest blessing of our whole lives came out of that day. We are so thankful. Happy six months, Olivia Shannon! We love you BIG!
Posted on: Sun, 10 Aug 2014 16:44:08 +0000
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