I wish there were a way for me express sadness on social media without appearing to be an attention whore. Thats simply not possible. What social media does succeed in doing is making me temporarily forget how lonely I am, and how empty I am inside. I banter back and forth with friends on here that I havent seen in years, as if we see each other on a daily basis. I have numerous friends on Facebook that I have literally never met in person. I couldnt tell you what their voices sound like, or what kind of car they drive, or what their perfume/cologne smells like. Theyre nothing more than a series of photo albums and occasional status updates. And thats all I am to them as well. Its only on nights like tonight that the reality hits me in face, that Im not the clever, witty, cool dude with Versace sunglasses and methodically staged profile pictures intended to make me look better than I really do. Im a pathetic unshaven single man with bed head, wearing the same shorts and tee shirt that he slept in last night, watching YouTube while laying on his unmade bed in a small room in his parents house. This is the best person that thirty five years of my most strenuous efforts could produce. Its a reality that Im no longer willing to live with.
Posted on: Mon, 15 Dec 2014 05:05:09 +0000
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