I would like to start out 2015 by telling you a story. It was 1.5 years ago. I was in Phoenix for a business trip ready to return to Colorado, my home. I was flying Southwest Airlines so was waiting in the line according to the number on my boarding pass. I was mid-way into a really good book, looking forward to the time on the plane to relax, read, and decompress from a quick business trip. It was then that I noticed a young woman standing in the airport, ready to board; her husband stood next to her and they were obviously arguing. Tears ran down her face and her son was acting out while his parents ignored him. I overheard the husband say to her, Leslie, I knew you couldnt do this; I cant believe you are going to miss our vacation because you wont get on the plane. She was sobbing, couldnt catch her breath, and was standing there, frozen in agony. Her husband and son boarded the plane. I stood there contemplating, should I get involved or just read my book? The book was calling loudly as this was the easiest path but the human pain I visually saw was calling out to me even more. I approached her calmly and asked her if she would like to join her husband and son. She nodded yes through her tears streaming down her face and dripping off of her chin. I then mentioned to her that I would be her person on the plane if she wanted to try getting on the flight. We slowly boarded, I told her my name and said that we were going to do this together. I sat in the window seat and she sat in the middle. I kept my hand on her arm as we boarded. She quickly began to hyper-ventilate as she realized that she was on the plane. I grabbed her hand and synchronized my breathing with hers, slowing down each subsequent breath. She followed my breath pattern. I began to ask her a little bit about herself. She told me that her husband had an affair and ever since she found out, shed been experiencing panic attacks. She said she was a hair-dresser and could only work part-time now due to these panic attacks. I began to explain what was happening to her body and her brain, induced by her fear. I continued to hold her hand, put cold compresses on the back of her neck, gave her ginger ale and did everything else I could think of to help calm her. The most powerful illustration that I gave to her was that she needed to think that the fear in her stomach was much like a bottle of soda. The circumstances were shaking up the bottle of soda; I asked her to let each thought, emotion, or fear bubble up, much like a bottle of soda with the bubbles breaking the surface of the soda. I asked her to let the bubbles come up and to give them to me. I told her that they werent mine and that I could hold all of those fears for her. She began to speak, words pouring out quickly, similar to a soda running over. I told her to not hold back, to give them all to me. By this time, wed taken off. I was still holding her hand, breathing slowly, humming, and caressing her hair. Basically, I was comforting and loving on her--fully present in the moment-every thing else forgotten but that moment. I wish I could say she was totally calm; however, her hurts and fears ran deep. I just sat with her, not fixing, not pushing any of it away but encouraging her to be in the moment, feeling the fear and then giving it to me. The flight attendant and the woman in the aisle seat both kept giving suggestions on what to do--out of their own discomfort, they wanted the situation fixed....I tried to encourage them that she didnt need others telling her what to do. It was August, in Phoenix, and I was a sweaty mess; this being fully present in the moment with someone in their pain is exhausting. After 2 hours, we landed and she just about bolted off of the plane. I watched her go, glad to see her relief. As I walked out of the airport and went by the baggage claim, I saw her with her husband, son and in-laws. They were all laughing and hugging. She looked up as I passed and caught my eye and in that moment she blew me a kiss and I knew then that Id touched her soul. It was a beautiful moment, one that marked me, one that was precious, scary, and life-changing. By the way, I gave her my phone number in case she needed a life line for the return flight. I left the airport for my drive home, grateful beyond measure that I chose to be there for a total stranger instead of shutting off and reading my book. I will never forget this encounter and the opportunity to be the person for someone in the midst of their darkness, their pain, their fears, and their struggles. Who needs you? Are you willing to go the distance? Look for the opportunities, so many fears, so many hurts.....Who was there for you? Will you share with us? Lets hear from others when someone was there for them or when you were there for another...let the sharing begin.....
Posted on: Wed, 07 Jan 2015 01:58:04 +0000
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