I wrote this earlier this morning - just some more education on the subject. Most people that have never experienced it first-hand fail to realize the true severity and nature of narcissistic abuse. Many victims can go decades without consciously realizing what it is thats being done to them. The emotional and mental abuse that a narcissist inflicts on their victim is based on psychological rape through the power of suggestion. The power of suggestion is one of the most powerful psychological tools and should never ever be underestimated. More common terms for this are “brain washing and gaslighting”. The narcissist creates a false self that is created out of simple and subtle pathological lies which make them seem angelic/moral and builds them a reputation of being saintly and they would never do anything to hurt anyone. As an example, if a narcissist hears a rumor about someone they know is cheating they may make statements in front of their own partner saying “how could they do that, it is disgusting”, making out that they completely disagree with such behavior. However, this is to only fool their partner into believing that they would never be capable of doing such a thing yet the lie is usually a “cover” to hide the fact that the narcissist is doing this, or plans to do this. These subtle lies go on and build up over the years gradually pulling the wool over the victims eyes completely and leaving them blind to the narcissists true hidden self. Money, friends, career, finances, identification, self-esteem, thoughts and emotions are all eventually stolen from the victim leaving them in a position with no resources to leave and no-one to turn to for help, yet the target/victim does not realize it until its too late. The narcissist has already ostracized their victim and built up an army of support, should the victim question anything that has happened. The narcissists army or minions will help propagate the narcissist’s lies to the victim while unknowingly being fooled by those very same lies. They report the thoughts and emotions of the target/victim back to the narcissist who uses the information to manipulate them even further and to prevent them from finding out the truth. The narcissist I knew would actually create “fake” friends using sites like facebook, yahoo, etc., that would contact me to perpetuate the narcissists accountability, lies and stories. Stealing a persons thoughts and emotions and attempting to replace them with false thoughts, even to cover something up, is psychological rape. The narcissist will create their own ring of minions to carry out the abuse, by manipulating the target/victims own family and friends - the target/victim is left isolated. Should the target/victim question the narcissists pathological lies or hidden promiscuous behavior then they will feel the wrath of the narcissist. The true victim will suddenly be the one who is insane or paranoid, because the narcissist has manipulated their friends and family into believing their insidious smear campaign long before the victim could have ever anticipated. Although friends and family may know about some of the narcissists one night stands or continued secret long-terms affairs, these are already justified in their minds due to the lies the narcissist has been telling them about the victim over the years. The target/victim has already been ostracized and had their reputation destroyed in the background without them even realizing what was happening, so it is already “too late” for the victim to catch up. Literally every little thing that happens gets twisted back round onto the victim and they are left scratching their head thinking is it me and never quite realizing that the narcissist manipulated them into that situation. Not only will the narcissist convince their victim they are insane, they will go the full length and tell them to go the doctor and have medication (that the victim doesnt really need) prescribed. Narcissists are extremely dangerous. It took them all their life to build up their saintly reputation as a cover for the evil emotional and psychological terrorist that lies beneath and nobody is ever going to wear them down. An unfortunate fact is that some narcissists will commit murder if it means protecting their secrets. Narcissistic abuse feels cruel, cold-hearted and sadistic for the victim. Narcissists get a kick from knowing that they are able to manipulate their partner and get away with whatever they want. The partner suffers in silence for many years not quite knowing if their suspicions are correct or just paranoia. The target/victim knows that even if they did turn to someone for help that the behavior of their narcissistic partner has been so outrageous that nobody is going to believe them anyway, until they reach a point where they just cant take it anymore. In many cases the partner may discover true evidence of the narcissists hidden behaviors (pathological lies, one-night stands, incest, secret affairs or even a double life). It hits them hard. They come to the realization that all of their suspicions that arose over the past years (or decades in many cases) were not just suspicions but actually subconscious clues, finally realizing that their intuition and suspicions were correct all along. They are left feeling depressed, worthless, blamed, and shamed which leads to flashbacks and even nightmares. The manipulation and the presence of the narcissists pathological lies and “out of control” lifestyle becomes apparent and the victim comes to the realization that the person they fell in love with is not real, they dont exist. The victim is left dazed, heart-broken, and angry yet the narcissist is still the one who is being treated like the victim. The damage is done and can often feel overwhelmingly beyond repair. Narcissistic abuse is performed covertly, insidiously and is extremely dangerous. The damage done by a narcissist may stick with them always, whether on a conscious or subconscious level and they may find it difficult to ever trust another person again. However, its true that time is the great healer and victims of narcissistic abuse can recover, given enough time and NO CONTACT. Unfortunately many targets/victims have spent their entire life being abused by a narcissistic partner and spend the remainder of their life recovering.
Posted on: Tue, 25 Mar 2014 23:29:05 +0000
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