Im going fishing. Means: Im going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety. Its a guy thing. Means: There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical. Can I help with dinner? Means: Why isnt dinner already on the table? Uh huh, Sure, honey, or Yes, dear... Means: Absolutely nothing. Its a conditioned response. It would take too long to explain. Means: I have no idea how it works. I was listening to you. Its just that I have things on my mind. Means: I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra. Take a break honey, you are working too hard. Means: I cant hear the game over the vacuum cleaner. Thats interesting, dear. Means: Are you still talking? You know how bad my memory is. Means: I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop, the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car Ive ever owned, but I forgot your birthday. I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses. Means: The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe. Oh, dont fuss, I just cut myself, its no big deal. Means: I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I am hurt. Hey, Ive got my reasons for what Im doing. Means: And I sure hope I think of some pretty good reasons soon. I cant find it. Means: It didnt fall into my outstretched hands, so Im completely clueless. What did I do this time? Means: What did you catch me at? I heard you. Means: I havent the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you dont spend the next 3 days yelling at me. You know I could never love anyone else. Means: I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse. You look terrific. Means: Please dont try on one more outfit, Im starving. Im not lost. I know exactly where we are. Means: No one will ever see us alive again.
Posted on: Fri, 18 Jul 2014 16:20:30 +0000
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