Im just so sick of it. The lies, the constant drama, tired of getting yelled at, constant failure im just sick and tired. Yeah i have friends lots of them actually. just not the real ones. You know betral, constant apologies, constant lies. I mean im not saying im perfect or anything. But, at least i think im not as messed up as the people i call friends are. Like i think im missing him, he is the one that changed me, if it wasnt for him i would be in a complete different position. like to i care i would have to give up being popular yeah i would , see i would stand up for me and i will say that i am two faced and i do lie a lot, i dont always try my best. And others see me as a big bad wolf, as i see my self as just one little egg in a dozen of eggs. Alot of the time i start crying in class, just because i start to think of him, my dad, no body knows my story because i dont think its necessary to tell you what i go through and what i have seen . But im done with that, im just done. when you see me daily what do you think wow, she is happy like always no im about to cry. i want to go see my dad, but you know then thats like tearing your heart in half . for me if i do if i would it would just get brought up and brought up. he used to call me squirrel i miss that. i want that bad, i mean i know its not a bad thing for me wanting to see my dad. But he has hurt me this time. I have to stand up and act like a parent to this little boy. i mean i am the one that grew up not her. i wanted her and i wanted to be the super hero aunt not the step mom. or what ever i have grown up and i get nothing in return from her. she doesnt care. My brother has done so many things to me that were bad. im tired of him acting like i owe him something people ask me about him every day. like is he the gay one. like get away and do some research. i just wish i could have peoples respect and i get better at things. people look down on me, and i want to fix things. its just i dont even know what to do anymore.
Posted on: Wed, 20 Nov 2013 00:29:02 +0000
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