Im upset with myself and disappointed in my lack of ability. Even though I put up what seemed to be a believable front on paper, because I was sincerely trying to be so strong for the world so the world would be a peace, I was actually caught in a severe tropical storm on the inside. Im upset that I spoiled what could have been a perfectly wonderful day. (Deep breath.) I need to give myself a break. I mean, look at that picture (not to mention the words that go with it!) That is one seriously steep mountain to climb! I was in no way, shape or form prepared to handle that much intensity. Not only am I not at the top of that mountain, I am lost somewhere, shutting myself out from the world, barely able to breathe, hiding deep in the recesses of some lonely, uncharted cave. And Im ashamed of myself and so disappointed in myself because I thought I was at the apex. Yeah, more like at the apex of the heart, which is really at the bottom. Ok. Maybe Im not that bad. Where I really want to be is swirling among those wispy, heart-shaped clouds. Whats preventing me is the immense uncertainty of just exactly where I stand in this incredible adventure...
Posted on: Sat, 11 Oct 2014 14:41:24 +0000
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