In desperate need of strength this morning... as I sit here - TopicsExpress



          

In desperate need of strength this morning... as I sit here typing, I can barely control the shaking in my body, or the tears from falling. Whats wrong? Nothing major, believe it or not, just a really intense mommy morning, thats it. A really really difficult mommy morning. I am so blessed to be a stay at home mom, and even now, I recognize that, and am thankful for that, but sometimes its so hard I just dont know what to do. Cant take a 15 minute break, lock up for the night, cant put in my vacation time, and have to put up with the tantrums. There I said it. My kid throws tantrums. Massive massive tantrums. They are much less frequent, but they are still massive. I know I shouldnt be sharing this here. I know some people might gossip about my child, but I just need to share. So that the majority of people here can pray for me. And pray for her. Its really nothing, truly my tears, shaking body, and embarrassment are all just silly. Because its nothing in comparison. But to me, at this moment. Its something. Something that Im having a hard time with, and most of my days, Im all by myself. Just me and a little one. But no grown up to take on this challenge with me. No one to cry with, or to help explain to the teacher while holding back the tears. Its just me... and facebook. My window to my friends. I should just give in. Give her every request that tempts a tantrum. I feel silly because I really try to stick to my guns on this, because trust me I recognize the easiest quickest way to dissolve this tantrum is to give in, but I dont. I never do. Thats probably why I have such a hard time when I see other people try to help, and immediately give her what she wants! The teacher said whats wrong? she says I dont want this The teacher says. Ok, well, thats easy here you go And boom tantrum done. Why didnt her mom do that? What kind of mom would allow behavior like this? And I walk out the door feeling like my whole morning was pointless!! Poor matt traveling along behind me with no shirt, or shoes, because I took him straight out of bed asleep this am. He didnt need clothes, he wasnt going to get out of the car he was just going to sleep while I dropped Hannah off at the gate. But it looks like he did need to get out. Because I wasnt going to leave him in the car while Im sitting in the office. Ugh...4 kids, and only 1 has ever thrown a tantrum. I dont get it... Well, as silly as it sounds this ridiculous post has me feeling about %9 better. As foolish as it was, it helped. Now I get to search for a shirt, because this one is fool of tears and boogies (not mine, in the midst of crying, she found a soft spot to wipe her nose) Ok, so there it is. If you think it was completely inappropriate of me to share this, please tell me. I will take it down. My mind is overwhelmed at the moment, and im sure my judgement isnt top knotch right now.
Posted on: Tue, 23 Sep 2014 15:29:07 +0000

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