•••Insert #18••• I stayed in hospital for a week under observation.. Asi and Banzi came to visit me a couple of times before I was discharged. My parents case was put on hold till I was gonna be able to go and testify against them. After I was discharged Asis parents offered me that I stayed with them for the rest of the year but that was gonna be difficult for me since my siblings were gonna stay in a home. I needed to make sure they were safe and taken care of, I wasnt gonna just dump them nor punish them for their parents sins. I wanted to be with them and make sure that they were well taken care of and If I was gonna stay at Asis home I wasnt gonna be able to do that. Ndandincekelele noyeka iskolo ndijonge bona or rather change schools and start a new school the following year since it was gonna be difficult for me to travel to school every day since I ddnt have taxi fare. But luckily both Banzi and Asis parents offered to help me with the transport fare. I went and stayed at the home the social workers provided for us, there were so many kids there mostly young children whom some had similar problems as mine and some were orphans with no one while some balahlwa ngabazali bebancinci. My heart ached when I saw all those innocent souls like that yayingase ndibathathele intlungu yabo ndongeze kule yam. Its not nice seeing little innocent souls with no parents to love them, to protect them, to teach them and care for them. Yes the home is nice and all but its not like a home, a home with two loving parents, a home where u go and feel at peace, where u get all the love and support, a home where u feel warm even when its cold, a home where u find your family. At the home the women who took care of the kids werent as nice as you would imagine. They swore at the kids, they beat them up when they got outta hand, for me it was more like I was back to the same hell I came from. They overworked the kids, and treated them like crap. Ndazibona ndilila xana ndifika kule situation injeyana kuba ndandicinga ndizophumla kanti ndize kwenye itype ye hell. It wasnt nice at all but what can one do? I had no choice but to stay. I slept with my siblings on the same bed with only one blanket and one pillow because babesith sizogqiba ispace cause theres too much of us. Ndandingalali ebusuku yingqele inyawo ziqothole and I was busy making sure that abantwana basekhaya were secure and warm, I ddnt care about me. Even when it came to food youd be given 2 slices of brown bread, dry and sibe sinuka muncu sometimes usbone siphuqeka kwalapha esityen then unikwe amanzi eswekile phof naleswekile ayivakali ncam kwenzwe nje. When I looked at those women I saw a reflection of my step mom. But looking at the kids there they didnt mind their situation babesele beyiqhelile bengaboni kwanto irongo. Kwakubuhlungu ke kubasekhaya abantwana ngoba babekhuliswe betele, at least mna kwakungekho mehluko kwihlobo endikhule ngalo neliya lapha kula special home. Unyaka yayingathi uyacotha kum, ndandithandaza umthandazo ongapheliyo ongena Amen.. I sometimes blamed God ndizbuza how can He take me from one hell to another type of hell? What happened to Egypt? The world of milk and honey? As He promised the Esraelites? Undikhupha njani kwaFaro kanti undisa kuGoliyathi? But ndazixelela uba nam ndizomoyisa loGoliyath ndini. All I had to do was to focus on my books. Zadlula intsuku ndimana ndisiya eskolweni though it wasnt easy because ndandisaqaqanjelwa zimbambo ndingekaphili ncam but I couldnt waste more time since I was already behind. I had people who supported me, Asi, some of my school mates, my teachers, Banzi and Asis parents. They always checked up on me if I needed anything, but me being me even if I needed something I wouldnt say because I ddnt like being dependent cause all my life Ive always depended on myself and I ddnt want to feel like a burden to them so I kept my neediness to myself. The date for my parents trial was set while they were still behind bars and I had to prepare myself to testify against them. A part of me was resistant because I felt sorry for my siblings, every single day and night they would cry and ask me where our parents were, when were we going back home. I felt bad taking their parents from them even though I knew it was for the best but my heart and head were still debating, whether I go and testify and risk my siblings losing their parents and hating me forever or going and get my justice...
Posted on: Tue, 05 Aug 2014 17:59:01 +0000