Insert 58 Savuka eksen took a shower,made the bed and cleaned my room then Amkela went to her room to dress up,I wore my clothes then went downstairs to have something to eat an Yonga was the only one around Me:they left already? Yonga:unjani Mbalie Me:p.la wena Yonga:nam,yinton ngok uhamba uphuzana endlelen nalantwana Me:xolo Yonga Yonga:Mbalie we not whites we blacks thats why we have to do things in a respective way,we as blacks asiphuzani endleleni not that whites abana respect but bona its in their culture to just kiss where ever and whenever they feel like kissing,soze Asanda lanto ubuyenza izolo ndiphinde ndiybone syevana? Me:ewe Yonga:yithi ewe nja Mbalie Me:ewe Yonga and am sorry it wont happen again Yonga:it better not The he stood up,took his belongings and left.that was hectic one thing I hated it arguing and raising my voice when Yonga is shouting at me,ndivele ndixolise.I didnt understand him kodwa,yhini undiyeka ndilale kanti nzavukela entweni,I hated him for spoiling my day before it started :(,as an understanbding person I was but at that moment I didnt,sozifihla kanti thina?ingathi into yomjolo wam izisa ingxaki ekhaya and I cant afford loosing my fam for a boyfriend,mara I love him too and hes the only person am willing to spend my whole entire life with.ku(rough) when its not smooth. I took an apple and bottled water and went to my room for my belongingz,ndandinenkani apha kum necheeky endingayaz noba ivela phi,then I went off to the garage ndakhupha imoto and left,as I was entering the school premises I rememberd that I left Ammy at home,I made a quick u_turn and left,ndafika ehamba ngenywo umtase :(,I stopped next to her Me:xolo mtase Ammy:olanton Mbalie? Me:lokshiya I didnt mean to Ammy:phinda ujike imoto yakho ke ijonge apho ivela khona uhambe Me:Ammy not you please this is our car Amkela our car Ammy:hay hamba sisi Then she walked,heeee hay linomgqwaliso elisuku namhlanje whats up ngaba na,I begged her to get inside the car but she refused,mxm ndamshiya.as I was driving away I looked through the rear view mirror and she was wipping her teas,and that broke my heat :(,I rememberd Ayas words the first time he told me about his sisters story Il never live you Mbalie ndingayazi whats eating you up inside,ndingakishiya if ndiyazi cos thats then ndisazi you need space..jah I didnt know whats bothering Ammy but to live her was something else cos surely she wasnt crying because I left her something was up but she was pushing me away D( I arrived at school and waited for her,she arrived 30min before the first period ends and I didnt mind cos sibamba fast ekhaya so we were sorted :) I walked to her and hugged her without saying anything then she broke it Ammy:ndiyeke am late Me:Ammy do you love it wena when people see we have troubles at home? Ammy:whats that suppose to mean? Me:Amkela uzoth utheni when people ask you whats wrong with youh Ammy:Il come up with something Me:till when Amkela?there are people who love seeing us like this ndiyakcela sufaka usathana injabulo I left her,went to my car took my bag and left for class,there was my hospitality teacher and sasingavani shme Teacher:oh Mbalie Me:yes maam Teacher:why you late Me:crisis at home,am sorry wont happen again Teacher:youl. Never get any attention from me my dear Me:am sorry maam it wont happen again I was now fuming,who said I needed her attention and for that matter am passing her subject so yintn ngok ngaye Teacher:yinton wandinyevulela ngok The class lauighed,maybe they laughed at this name ndingalaz noba litheth ukthin,or because the teacher was draining my energy emotionaly,cos physicaly ndandingam khaba so ndandi gain energy physically Me:thetha ukthin lonto? Teacher:mamela apha ke awungowokqala udlwengulwa ungazubangowokgqibela,pull yourself toger ubengumtaneskolo not umtu weskolo Ouch!!!ahlaba entlizweni amazwi walomama,now she gad to remind me that I was raped ngok ndilibeleyo mna :( :( I froze,It was like I was in my own world,empty and had big buildings and I was the only one living there,ndandimvela kude lomama ethetha,she shook me and enterupted my thoughts Teacher:ndithi if awuzuhlala phantsi phuma I slowly turned and walked out,I was like am wearing big size shoes and am taller than everything that was there,that woman realy crushed my soul,its not like I had nothing to say to her that was going to make sense but I was broke,I couldnt,words just stucked on my throat and I couldnt atter any sound. I walked to the bathroom and looked myself inthe mirror and silently asked myself who am I i couldnt find an answer then I labelled myself as I am that kid who lost her virginity at 6 then It was like on my forehead it written raped Umtu uyakwaz uwophula umphefumlo womtu ndingayaz noba ucing uzoyfumana idinwe phi na i-respect futh I washed my face,then her words kept repeating in my ears,I didnt know what to do I sat down and cried,so hard that I lost my voice,it was break time and I was sitting inthe same position,for 2full hours crying :(,I heard someone brushing my back and kept telling me that everything is going to be fine all in good time,I looked up it was Thulie,she hugged me I hugged her back and cried till I couldnt shed a tear Me:thank you Thulie:Il always be here for you ok? Me:ohk My voice was out Thulie:lets go I shook my head and told her to go and she did,I was again alone mxm I hated my LIFE!!!
Posted on: Sat, 26 Jul 2014 12:10:27 +0000
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