It happens that sometimes you start hating everything and everybody ; yourself , your friends your family and even the stuff you used to like.. it happens sometimes you just want to stop talking to others , trying to figure out what you want and what you dont want in your life , who you need and who you dont.. it happens sometimes you rather be in your grave than in a cute warm house surrounded by your beloved and sacred family.. You refuse to speak up your mind even to your closest friend and prefer to write whats on your mind in a stupid note on your computer and delete it later just to make you feel better or write your endless pain in a sheet of paper sum it up in few words then burn it.. It happens that you often feel youre suffocating even though youre not under water , though you really want to drown yourself in the middle of the ocean.. It happens that you sometimes or often feel that youre too heavy you cant move a muscle or too fragile that the sunlight burns your skin as if you were a vampire , hurts you eyes , damages your entrails slowly and eventually leaves marks on your body as if you were struggling , fighting with yourself .. blue marks on your skin like you bit yourself mercilessly.. chased by the idea of nothing is pushing you to keep on fighting or to stay strong.. You start looking at your bruises and wounds that hurt as hell staring at your hand as if its not yours trying to be a better person no matter how hard it is ; wishing you could do magic so you can turn a briar into a red beautiful flower but you cant. Then , suddenly , you realise that its time for you to move on , to run away from this fake and silly world full of hypocrites and empty people because at some point you get that feeling of guilt and youre going to demolish everything around you even when you burst into a laughter as if you were born with some sort of curse that turns everything you touch into ashes in just one blink.. But , damn it ! you cant run ! the door is locked ; youre a prisoner ; prisoner of yourself, of your pain & sorrows you cant go anywhere so just close your eyes turn to the music your best friend the one which will never let you down the one which you can rely on the most ! it doesnt matter what you listen to what matters the most is finally youre going to hear something louder then the voice of thinking in your mind and light up a cigarette every five minutes to relax and roam around in your mind because the room or the reality if Im allowed to say is to tight for a desperate dreamer such as yourself ! smoke ! breath in breath out let the pain get the hell out of your chest !! pollute your blood youll feel high disturb your brain open your hands and dance just go with the flow with the music dont stop until you sweat until you cry the shit out until you cant breath no more said the Demon loudly and you obeyed inevitably .. and then Come on have mercy on yourself ! free yourself ! you deserve much better than this ! youre a keeper ! you mean something to someone out there a gentle sound whispered in your head so you lied down on the floor with a wild smile on your face feeling so happy extremely happy because all that sadness faded away as a storm which suddenly stopped, went away and left nothing but silence... #Nad
Posted on: Sat, 05 Jul 2014 01:19:23 +0000
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