It was 12 years ago this past February that I met Esther over the telephone. I was working in a call center in Cleveland, Ohio and she was a customer calling in from Florida...a very, very angry customer. For first few moments of the call I held my head in one hand and had my other hand on the phone massaging the button to disconnect call. To this day I cannot explain the tiny voice inside me that told me not to and as I moved my hand away from the phone I took control of the call and helped her through her dilema. From that day forward not only would she not speak to anyone else but me in the call center but it was also the beginning of our friendship. After two and a half years and much persuasion from Esther I came to stay with her. Despite the difference in our ages we never ran out of interesting topics to talk about or things to do. We did practically everything together and I always included her amongst my other friends at parties or gatherings (she made a pretty good date) always dressed to the nines and oftentimes SHE was the life of the party. There wasnt anyone of my friends that didnt like her or wasnt amused by her. She also included me in gatherings she had with her sister Tina and brother-in-law Gus, and other family gatherings. Our relationship wasnt always perfect. We had our arguments like anyone might have living with someone. But always at the end of the day Esther would hold out her hand and say lets talk and we would work through it. I would afterwards think to myself omg this is what marriage is! And then I would think Im luckier because she and I actually love one another. As the years passed my role with Esther changed from merely being a companion, to becoming an aid, to becoming her nurse. Until Saturday when had the immeasurable blessing of being there with her when she had to leave us. When I think of the things that Esther loved the most in life, two things come to mind; Music and people. Esther absolutely loved music. Her stereo always had music playing on it. I even created a station just for her on Pandora where she could listen to all of her big band era favorites and whether we in the car or at home the music was on, Esthers foot was tapping and she would be singing along. She knew nearly all the words to every song. And when Tony Bennet would come on she would simply melt like butter and say, What a man!. But something she liked even better than music was people, and particularly...men. Esther was an incorrigible flirt as many of the male gender here know. What Esther had was a true passion for people. She was friendly to everyone she met, always smiling, full of readily clever wit and had an amazing sense of humor. What Esther had the most of though I think was empathy. This is something that most people today armor themselves against I think. But Esther with characteristic strength could make anyone sense that she had stepped out of her own shoes right into the that other persons, and whether it was the most joyous occasion or the most heartbreaking of occurrences, Esther was able to make you feel that she was right there with you experiencing the happiness or the pain. And she used this combination of compassion and strength to champion the weak, help the less fortunate, defend against the oppressed and to protect the ones she loved. Esther taught me a great many things, too many to even begin mentioning here. What she instilled in me was something inexplicable and something that money could never buy or any classroom could ever teach. Taking care of her these years was the most challenging and difficult things I have ever done in my entire life, but also by far the most rewarding. I feel privileged to have known her in such an intimate way. Esther to me was my champion and my best friend and I will miss and think about her everyday until I die.
Posted on: Tue, 11 Mar 2014 02:33:46 +0000
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