Its National Ice Tea Day and did anyone tell me? Thats a big fat noooo. However, now that I know this its time for this story: SWEET DAMN TEA! I realize leaving the friendly confines of the South leaves one open to some disappointment as far as sweet tea goes. Outside of this area it is unknown and is met with quizzical looks, frowns and mumbled remarks from wait staffs in restaurants. Such is the tale I will relate here. With traveling companions Barbara and Kem I drove to Denver to see friends Heather and Julie and their respective SOs. It was a nice trip and I met Superman in Metropolis on the way, battled with odd monuments in Tennessee, and searched for the elusive bison (buffalo for the uninitiated). When we went to dinner with friends I would ask for sweet tea and in one locale I was told, We only have real tea. Whats that supposed to mean? Real Tea? Frankly my dear sweet tea IS damn real tea. I just said bring me a five pound bag of sugar for my drink and leave us be. She also got my order wrong but this was not to be the greatest insult of the trip. Another night my friends took us to an Italian seafood restaurant. We were seated at the table and as I turned to talk to my friend Julie the waiter started to place a napkin in my lap. WHOA. Hold on there cowboy, I thought. Nobody gets to see the wizard, not nobody. Not no how, I said protectively of my lap. After I got over that invasion we all engaged in friendly banter and discovered our waiters name was Abdullah and he was from Iran. Julie whispered he looked like Tennessee Ernie Ford and in hushed tones called him Tennessee Abdullah Ford the rest of the night. We all giggled not realizing the insult to come. After the napkin assault Tennee...un...Abdullah asked for our drink orders. I had learned to ask, Do you have sweet tea? His look resembled that of the Queen of England being told by the Prime Minister, Down in front, at her sons polo match. He said, derision oozing from his mustachioed face, No. We only have normal tea. Normal tea? NORMAL TEA! Okay its showtime. Sooooo...an IRANIAN waiter in an ITALIAN SEAFOOD restaurant in DENVER FREAKING COLORADO is trying to tell me SWEET TEA is NOT NORMAL! Hold me back. Fortunately my Southern manners saved me and Abdullah lived to relate his story to his friends, Ha I told the infidel we only have normal tea . Next day I called the Department of Homeland Security and told them I heard Abdullah say in Persian, Bomb, and, Mile High Stadium. Okay I dont know any Persian. In fact he said, Manicotti, provolone with penne pasta. I improvised.
Posted on: Fri, 04 Jul 2014 03:15:00 +0000
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