It’s been a really hard couple of days in our family….but it’s also been an amazing opportunity to see the Lord in action. Tuesday night, I spent the night with my mom and dad…which is something that I very rarely do as they live about an hour from me…and I guess I just don’t usually slow down enough to take the time. It was an awesome night. We joked around, talked about John’s childhood, we ate, talked sports ...things that probably seem mundane to most…but for me…it was heavenly. I got to spend this precious time with two people whom I adore and look up to. Morning brought more laughter and a feeling of peace and love filled the air. Mom was busy doing her normal tasks…when John called out to her to help him wash up. Suddenly, with terror in her voice, Mom called for me. I ran to her and what I saw as I stood in the doorway, literally took my breath away. John’s eyes were glazed over and it was obvious that he wasn’t consciously with us. Mom seemed frozen and traumatized by what was happening before her. I did the only things I could think to do: I splashed water in his face, smacked his face and repeatedly and sternly told him to come back. I began to pray…loud and without stopping. I refused at that time to believe that he wasn’t going to make it. Mom started CPR and I called 911. When the paramedics arrived, John was unresponsive and had no pulse. I continued in prayer…knowing full well that God had performed miracles throughout time…so, I was just calling out on some of the ones that were reserved for us. It wasn’t long after we arrived at the hospital that the doctor came out and told us that they had done everything they could, but that he didn’t make it. He explained that John’s heart had stopped beating the instant he started slipping out of consciousness in the bathroom, and, because his heart had already gone through so much, it was just not able to start again. I stood there…trying to digest what I had just heard, then it hit me…and a panic rushed over me and I instantly felt like I couldn’t breathe. It was at that moment that I looked at my mother and saw a brokenness and devastation that I never ever wanted to see in her eyes. I realized that she had just lost her soul mate, her best friend, she had lost half of herself. I wanted to take the pain from her so badly. I hate that she has to endure this gut-wrenching agony. Our combined family is big, between the two of them, there are 12 of us. Every single one of us has always been thrilled to see our parents so happy. And, this travesty has hit all involved with brutal force as all of us, touched by John’s presence, realize that we no longer get to take comfort , just by the fact that his love, compassion and wisdom was never more than a phone call away. I am putting forth every effort to put my feelings aside for now, so that I can focus on helping my mom get through this rough time. I can tell that she is avoiding the pain- a pain that she most certainly already has within her. I have asked God to speak through me to her, because, my words just don’t seem adequate enough to bring her though this. Today, I told her that it was great that she is being so strong but that when everything settles down, she absolutely has to take the time to grieve. I think she heard me and I’m sure it wasn’t anything she hadn’t already thought of. I’ve done a lot of thinking and praying the past several hours…and, though my heart breaks for my mom…I feel very blessed to have had John in my life…and for the way he always showered me with the love that I lost when my dad died. John was and is so loved by so many, which speaks volumes about the amazing man he was. His children are his legacy…a true testament to the man, who, if nothing else, taught us to live life to the fullest! We are all blessed to have had John in our lives…and truly, I believe that that is really what mattered to him…that, in the end, people knew that his love was always unconditional. I picture Jesus saying “Good job John. You achieved an amazing feat; the lives that you touched, rather it was your wife, children , loved ones of just an acquaintance, were all made better… in some way…for having known John Beavers. A truer statement has never been heard! John, you offered me the greatest gift that I’ve ever received when you let me have a daddy again! Thanks for showing me what true love really looks like…and for making my mom the queen to your kingdom!!! I love you, Pappy!!!
Posted on: Wed, 06 Nov 2013 21:24:03 +0000
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