Ive been trying to think of how I can wrap up everything I have/ am going through in one post. Keep in mind this me being real, honest and raw. No sugar coating. Heres the deal....I have not been doing well post show, at all. Its been a whirlwind of emotions to say the least. Where do I even begin?! Well, lets start with the after show weight gain: I knew I would gain some weight back and that it would be hard to see my body change. How hard? Definitely not THIS hard. To go from lean, ripped and crazy muscle definition to fluffy as has been really hard on my mind and spirit. Then I decided to do another show that was 4 weeks away and thats when I realized I couldnt get a grip and there was a problem. No matter how hard I tried I just couldnt get out of my funk. The eating? It was like I had never eaten in my life. Everything and anything. Working out? I went a few times then began to feel so embarrassed about the weight gain (some water retention too) that I stopped going. I have not stepped foot in there since. I know many people at my gym and I so badly did not want to be that girl who gains a bunch of weight back after her show. I have had to accept that I need to fix this and that the only person who can do it is me. Tonight I am going back to the gym fluff and all. To say Im nervous about it is an understatement but I absolutely need to get in there in order to reach my goals. Stepping on stage was the best day of my life but after the weekend some pretty dark doors opened up. Weight gain, weight loss or maintenance I want you guys to know I struggle too. Luckily I have great support and will be working closely with a new and amazing coach (post on that in the future Im sure). Shrinkys back and ready to get her life back as well.♡
Posted on: Tue, 21 Oct 2014 11:03:13 +0000
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