Ive posted my pregnancy tests at 3 weeks gestation being positive..... Ive told all of you Madden/Maddyn Riot Parker was the name, either gender, Ive spoken about being emotional and sick and full of rage..... but it REALLY hit me today in a way it hadnt before, going to that office, peeing for the government, and letting them tell me something Ive known for three weeks. Mrs. Ackerman, youre pregnant!.... No, really? lol...... I guess knowing and having it on a paper in front of you are two different things. I really, truly, absolutely, positively am having a fourth child. Never again will there be a perfect sitting chart in the cars we own, if we choose to own a car and not something larger. Never again will my sanity be anywhere NEAR normal, three girls about drive me insane. I will always have four people Im responsible for, if anything were to happen with me and my now SECOND baby daddy.... lol.. wow. I was so proud of the one baby daddy thing. Im good, Im happy, I think part of my brain was just numb. These four people, these four animals, these four blessings, are going to be my entire life, my every thought, my every move, my every intention. And I think today I fell in love with the child I knew was there for weeks. It makes me feel bad. I finally fell for Madden/Maddyn. So many mixed emotions without mom here, even though I definitely want this child, although I know how hard this is going to be should I end up alone. Im so thankful my girls father, Aaron Ackerman, and I always seem to make our differences disappear and have the capability of showing human compassion and love for one another, no matter our past. Im so thankful I have what I know will be an equally devoted father, Aaron Ward, for this child, and to help with the others during this pregnancy,as he always willingly has. If you want to talk about my best friends.......... here you go, here they are. Well.. and my boo, Tamra Leslie, since day one. And what I hope could bloom from a few other individuals as well.
Posted on: Fri, 03 Oct 2014 00:00:49 +0000
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