I’ve been going to the gym for the last three months, three times a week, Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings. Each session lasts in excess of 2 hours, and by the end of it I’m totally shagged (I wish). Now you may think, what is this silly old bugger doing this for ? Well initially, having retired 15 months ago, it was to try and retain a modicum of fitness. There was also the need to lose a bit of weight. Everyone knows that despite having a rather gorgeous arse, I do admit to being a little plump, so shedding an inch or twelve would also be of benefit. And the results of having slogged my bollocks off in this masochistic ritual of self flagellation for three months – absolutely SOD all. Not an inch, not a pound, nowt, zero, nothing, FA. The only discernible benefit that I’m aware of is an improvement in my breathing. So the COPD (emphysema) inflicted by 45 years of tipless Old Holborn roll-ups does show signs of improvement, albeit that I still get breathless regularly, but not quite so often. But I digress. I intended this as a report upon the gym oddities. Now I usually go at off peak periods when the only attendees are young, middle aged and more ancient ladies who are there for mainly vanity and fitness reasons. Then there are the chaps – a bunch of us, mainly old farts like me, trying to stay alive. Everyone is quite happily going about their business with a smile and a nod. Occasionally however, you get the younger whipper-snapper in there trying to prove what a Mr. Universe he is. Worse still is when there is more than one and they compete for glory. This is when the equipment is loaded to its maximum, the eyes bulge, the air is acrid with grunts, cries and hisses and the testicles miraculously appear behind their ears. The term nobhead seems to be more than appropriate in these instances. Apart from disturbing the peace, what are they trying to prove ? Beats me.
Posted on: Wed, 17 Jul 2013 13:48:04 +0000
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