Just when you thought it was safe to drink Taiwanese tea products… a new and deadly menace has come to destroy the harmony of this peaceful tourist town. Unseen beneath the calm surface of your tea cup… lies a lurking terror…. BALLS. (Taipei mayor Hau Lung-bin confronts police chief Ma Ting). Hau: Ma Ting, you’re gonna shut down the bubble tea shops on your own authority? Ma Ting: Well, what other authority do I need? Hau: Look, this is a summer town. We need summer dollars. If people can’t drink bubble tea here, they’ll go to South Korea and drink Hwachae instead. Well screw that! We’ve got Dragon Boat Festival coming up and I want those tea shops open! (A grieving mother appears and slaps Ma Ting in the face) Mother: Chief Ma Ting, I just found out. A girl drank bubble tea last week and later on her pee was a funny color. And you knew. Ma Ting: I… Mother: You knew the balls were dangerous. You knew all these things. And now my boy has a negligible long term risk of kidney malfunction. And there’s nothing you can do about it. I wanted you to know that. Ma Ting: BALLS!!!!!!!
Posted on: Thu, 06 Jun 2013 05:00:58 +0000