Kind of uncomfortable with the article. Like, yay that theres a bunch of strong, clever, positive messages from celebrated women who have chosen not to have children, sure (would love it if slightly fewer of those messages had an apologetic or self-deprecating undertone, but cool). But theres such a palpable sense of irritation in so many of those messages, and hugely justified. Why are they being asked this in the first place? Zooey Deschanels answer is the perfect answer, and really the only answer. Shit, why are so many of those answers phrased almost as excuses? Why do so many of these extraordinary women have to talk about the choice between being a mother and having a career? Im not saying its *not* a choice; that you have to be both, or even that its very practical to be both. If you have kids, one or more parents of any gender is/are likely to have to prioritise parenting over some other choices. But that doesnt mean that the decision in every womans head is should be children or career. It makes just as much sense for Oprah to say she chose between motherhood and a career in television as it would to say she chose between a career in television and being an astronaut, or a short-order chef. Or just dropping out and smoking weed all her life. There are hundreds of choices a woman might make about her life, and this shouldnt be the one that we raise above all others. It shouldnt be the elephant in the room, the universal life choice that every woman is required to subscribe to or publicly reject. Shit, men stop working to take care of babies too, more and more every year, but no-one asks why we choose to have careers rather than become caregivers for our children. Just shut up about it, and assume that if someone *isnt* a parent (full-time or not, homemaker or not), they a) dont want to, and/or b) dont really want to talk about it.
Posted on: Wed, 17 Sep 2014 10:33:37 +0000