Last night I dreamed that I was a private investigator with psychic powers. The thing was, that those powers only worked when I was eating onion rings. If I held an onion ring up to my eye and looked through it like a monocle I could see things. Like, If I looked at you I could see what terrible things youve done, and if I looked at a crime scene I could see how everything went down. I was very popular with the police departments and everyone wanted to hire me but I was trying to retire because I was getting really sick and overweight. Nobody can have onion rings shoved in their face all day and not eat them! Especially if theyre beer battered. If theyre beer battered I will shove those things in my face hole like theres no tomorrow. But nobody wanted to let me retire so I had to sneak off and move up to the mountains to hide from everyone. And guess what? The garden behind my cabin was full of onions! I just couldnt catch a break.
Posted on: Fri, 07 Mar 2014 13:08:15 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015