Liked this. Things to remember in relationships: -If youre unhappy, change you. You cant change the other person. If you dont want to change you, change your situation. Chances are, the other person *will* change, as a reaction to your change or the situational change. Things will change. Change is interesting. Change is sometimes scary and sad. Sometimes change is amazing and awesome and wonderful. But if youre unhappy, you cant wish change, you have to try change. And that starts with you. -These problems dont just happen in 20 year marriages, they happen in 2 year relationships, 5 year relationships, any time your relationship has moved from novel to normal, youre bound to experience a bit of bland here and there, and if it becomes the pattern you draw, you may lose sight of what was great before. -Always try to be better than you are. If your partner isnt inspired to be better by your being better, determine how much you care about their level of betterness or betterment. If you inevitably end up too better for them, move on to better things. Theres a balance between comfortable love, where you can trust your partner to catch you when you fail/fall/sink, and exciting love, where you challenge your partner to fly with you. Find that balance. -Give yourself and your partner occasional respites from high expectations, particularly as life piles on. Careers and children have a tendency to take over our lives --- additional stresses are no picnic either. Sometimes people need to neglect a part of their lives for a short period of time. Sometimes its not going to the gym for 6 months or forgetting to kiss you goodnight because theyre always up later than you working on their next career move. When someone else is under stress, try to make their life easier, not harder, and be with the sort of person you can trust to do the same for you. -Communicate, goddammit. /says the girl whos never had a relationship last longer than 3 years, but at least at the end Im better after each one. and Judds not totally tired of me yet. ;) -
Posted on: Thu, 23 Oct 2014 03:04:54 +0000
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