Loveeeeeee this !! She definitely described the way i feel about my son ♥♥♥♥ Before I became a mom, Id experienced love, love in many shapes and forms. Id given it and taken it, doling out more when someone treated me right, less when they hurt me. But what I felt for Ella was completely one-sided and unmeasured. Gone was any instinct to protect my heart, because my overwhelming urge was a drive to protect her. I knew Ella would never love me the way I loved her, but I didnt care. In fact, that was the beauty of this situation. I wanted motherhood to help me grow up and mature. As I cradled Ella in my arms, the concept of unconditional love sank in. In mere moments shed stolen my heart like no one ever had. I loved her not because of what shed done, or might do down the road, but because she exists. That was enough. Ella will soon turn 12, and for me that marks 12 years of motherhood. Her birth day was the best day of my life, not because I love Ella more than her sisters, but because shes the one who made me a mom. She was the game-changer, the one who took me out of floaties and launched me into the deep end of love. IEllas birth was like a rebirth for me, a second chance to embrace life with more joy and vulnerability. Maybe life was easier before Ella, but it wasnt full, or anywhere near complete. Going back could never satisfy me as it had before, because once you experience the deep end, shallow waters arent the same. And so I thank my beautiful, kind, and quick-witted firstborn for granting me this experience. I thank her for bearing with me as I learn new strokes in every stage of parenting. Most of all, I thank Ella for her compassion toward others. With her in the universe, I have faith in the future, because I know shell make it better. I love you, sweet Ella, not because of what youve done or might do down the road with your many talents, but because you exist. It was enough at your birth, and its enough now. To watch you blossom on this intricate level, as your proud and ever-amazed mother, is a gift for which I am so very, very grateful.
Posted on: Thu, 28 Aug 2014 19:07:53 +0000
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