MY ANNIVERSARY This month marks the 25th anniversary of my move from Toronto to New York City. New York is a helluva town, with the emphasis literally on Hell in some instances. On the side street of my posh Riverside Drive address, the parents, nannies, and town car chauffeurs park in the middle of our side street, blocking off all traffic, while leisurely sauntering in to drop their children off at the toney elite Anglican School next door. They engage in coarse and foul language in yelling matches with the drivers of the vehicles they block, in front of their own children, while they break the law. On Riverside Drive, hoards of bicyclists in fancy racing attire on thousand dollar bikes have turned The Drive into a racing course. When I cross the drive I have to dodge them and frantically protect my dog as they illegally speed through red lights and occasionally call me a C@(%Sucker or MotherF#(%er because Im in their way, when it is me who has the right of way. With their luxury wheels and multi-thousand dollar gear, its difficult to imagine what social conditions might compel these well-to-do New Yorkers to commit these crimes. Yesterday I decided that after twenty-five years here its time for me to stop being so dumb-struck by these behaviours. I chose to live here so I will now relent to accepting this New York way of life. And dont get me started on trying to negotiate my way through a grocery or subway car here. I now understand why my favourite American joke about us Canadians is: RIDDLE: Question: How do you get 100 Canadians to get out of a swimming pool in five minutes flat? Answer: You make an announcement: Would everyone please leave the pool in five minutes? Thank-you. And so it has been ordained that the Americans will continue to joke about how polite and orderly Canadians are, and Canadians will continue to joke about how rude and disorderly Americans are. And thats just the way it is and forever shall be. Acceptance is the answer. I love New York, I love living here, and so, in my deep-rooted Canadian tradition, I will now try to find the courtesy to respect its ways and stop complaining about them, while at the same time suppressing my deep-rooted Canadian tradition of arrogantly knowing that, deep in my heart, we are and shall always be the ones who are always right and infinitely better. Namaste. Love, Freddy
Posted on: Sat, 17 Jan 2015 00:18:20 +0000
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