Metta Bhavana ... Satire :) Over 300 Federal Pleece and Wild Life Officers with helicopters and sniffer dogs swooped in dawn raids on a Northern Territory bush camp, arresting one man in a fluro safety vest found camping in what were described by Pleece as squalid conditions in the scrub. The man, it is alleged, had earlier made a nuisance of himself at a number of schools and trade centres in the area where he is said to have interrupted school assemblies, touching some of the children, telling bad jokes, eating other peoples food, and using power tools without permission. Locals became concerned when the man refused to leave and allegedly threatened to keep coming back. When arrested, the man, described as rather short, with a manic laugh, florid complexion, a possibly botoxed forehead, and dyed, thinning hair, claimed he was a Prime Minster, a bit of a handyman, and also that he was interested in Aboriginal welfare. A spokester for Northern Territory police scoffed at this last claim, saying no one in their right mind, could possibly have any interest in their welfare. When questioned the man claimed he had a mandate to be there and despite this, gave the implausible excuse that he had to leave at once, but reluctantly, in order to farewell the troops, who he alleged he was sending on a mission to somewhere in the Middle East. Following a search of the mans tent Pleece removed a number of what they described as disguises, including a fire fighters outfit, numerous white coats, reflector vests and hard hats, a sailors uniform, a priests cassock, a variety of rather frayed male swimsuits as well as several heavily padded Lycra bicycle-riding outfits in lurid colours. Charges of fraud, deception, presenting false credentials and impersonating someone who actually gives a shit, were expected to be laid later today, pending further inquiries. A middle-aged woman found with the man, described by witnesses as kind of scowling, angry, shifty and a bit cheap looking, wearing a leopard-print bathrobe and thigh-high patent leather boots, was released without charge when she provided authorities with a letter from someone called George.
Posted on: Thu, 18 Sep 2014 04:14:34 +0000
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