Mohabbat ek se ho to BHOLAPAN hai, do se ho to APNAPAN hai, teen se ho to DEEWANAPAN hai, chaar se ho to PAGALPAN hai, phir bhi counting na ruke to KAMEENAPAN hia. Khuda na kare aapko koi gam mile, khushiyan aur hansi har dam mile, gam jab bhi badh chale aapki or khuda kare raaste mein usse hum mile Kaun tumko palko pe bithayega, kaun tumko dega ye mohabbat, choti choti baton pe manayega kaun, jab koi tumko bhi bhulayega, tumko mera pyaar yaad ayega Aap jaise log hame kuch khas lagte hain, hum mann mein har waqt ek aas rakhte hain na jane kab aa jaye aapka sms, isliye mobile dil ke paas rakhte hain Silsile tho yuhi chalte rahenge, fasale hai badalte rahenge, aap kyun nahi samajhte hamari baat ko, aap ke bina to hum pal pal marte rahenge Hoto pe ate ho baat bankar, dil mein ate ho yaad bankar, aankhon mein ate ho sapna bankar, kabhi ho sake tho meri zindagi mein ana apna bankar Tuti hui kashti ko savarte kisne dekha, bhichde kinaro ko milte kisne dekha, bin badal ke barish ko kisne dekha, ishq to sirf chadta hai, utarte kisne dekha Mili hai bahot saza tumse dil lagane ki, nazar lag gai hamare pyaar ko zamane ki, kabr se nikle hue dono haath kehte hain, aarzoo rah gai hai tumhe gale se lagane ki Teri dosti mein ek nasha hai, tabhi to yeh duniya hamse khafaa hai, na karo hamse itni dosti ki dil hi puchhe teri dhadkan kahan hai Simat jane do in palon ko, kya jane kal ho na ho, ho bhi yeh lamhe kal to kya malum, shayad shamil un palo mein hum ho na ho Nazar hamari, nazar tumhari, nazar ne dil ki nazar uteri, nazar ne dekha, nazar ko aise ke kabhi na nazar lage dosti ko hamari Guess mujhme aur abdul kalam mein kya similarity hai. Nahi pata? So simple, wo mere ghar nahi aate main unke ghar nahi jata Kahan se chale the, hum aye kaha tak, kahi mil gae manzilon ke nishan tak, bad dooriya hain bade fasle hain tumhare jana se hamare jahan tak Dear tum bhi likha karo shayari, meri tarah tumhara bhi naam ho jayega, jab tujh par bhi fekenge log ande aur tamatar, raat ki sabji ka intejaam ho jayega Do pal ki zindagi yuhi beet jayegi, kaali raat ke baad nayi subah ayegi, agar dosto ki yaad satayegi to kasam se aapki yaad sabse pehle aayegi Zindagi ek raat hai, jis mein na jane kitne khwaab hai� jo mil gaya who apna hai� jo toot gaya who sapna hai Dooriyo se fark padta nahi baat to dil ki nazdikiyo se hoti hai, dosti to kuch khaas aap jaise se hai verna, mulaqat na jaane kitno se hoti hai Agar mujhe 5 min mein message na bheja to bhagwaan apko mulayam ki akal, laloo ki shakal, jaya ki jawani, mayawati ki vaani, kalaam jaise baal, atal jaise chaal dega Din tere khayal mein guzar jata hai, raat ko bhi tera hi kahayal aata hai, kabhi ye kayal is kadar badh jata hai ki aaine mein bhi tera chehra nazar aata hai Ek ladki sardar ke paas gayi�� sardar ne paltaya, peeche se khola aur dala� ladki bahut khush thi.. who pehli baar dalwa rahi thi� SIM CARD Din jo bitaaye aapke saath humne, nazar unko baar baar talash karti hai, gila nahi jo naseeb mein juda kar diya, aaj bhi aapki judai humse pyaar karti hai Bedard kuch dost ho gaye hain humare, jo hamara intezaar bhi nahi karte� kabhi hamse bahut baat kiya karte the ab to yaad bhi nahi karte Hoton pe dosti ke fasane nahi aate, sahil pe samandar ke khazane nahi aate, udne do parindo ko abhi shokh hawa mein, fir laut kar college ke zamane nahi aate Taraste the jo milne ko humse kabhi, aaj vo kyo mere saye se bhi katrate hai, hum bhi wahi hai, dil bhi wahi hai, na jane kyun log badal jate hain Chandi ki diwar na todi par pyaar bhara dil tod diya. Kuch chillar paiso ke liye tumne message karna chod diya Sardar: yaar ye muge ke bache anda todkar bahar kaise aa jata hai? Sardar2: oye pehle mainu ye bata ye band ande me ghus kaise jate hain Dosti karo tho dhoka mat dena, dusro ko aasuon ka tofa mat dena, dil se roye koi zindagi bhar aisa kisi ko mauka mat dena Unki muskan hamari kamzori hai, unhe keh nahi pana hamari majburi hai, vo kyon nahi samajhte hamari khamoshi ko, kya kahamoshi ko zubaan dean zaroori hai Namazi par Allah ke 5 naam Aasan rozi Azaabe qabr nahi A�maal dayen haath mein Pulsiraat ka rasta asaan Bina hisaab ke jannat . royengi aankh muskurane ke baad, aayegi raat din dhal jane ke baat. O janewale zara udke tho dekh shayad ye zindagi na rahe tere jane ke baad Dosti ka pehla paigam aapke naam, zindagi ki akhari shaam apke naam, iss safar mein humsafar hain hum dono, is dosti ko nibhana hain aapke naam Dil dil se juda nahi hote, yuhi kisi par fida nahi hote, pyaar se bada dosti ka rishta hai, kyonki dost kabhi bewafa nahi hote Fareb thi hasi hum aashiqui samajh baithe, kisi aur ki zindagi ko hi apni zindagi samajh baithe, waqt ka mazak tha ya badnasibi meri, phir se kisi ke baathon ko chahat samajh baithe Bazuo mein dam rakhte hain, dil mein gam rakhte hain, teri dosti ke baad logo se wasta kam rakhte hain, pata that mujhe sms aayega tera, isliye disprin sang rakhte hain Log kehte hain main sharabe hun, tum ne bhi shayad yehi sochliya, kisi pe husn ka gurur jawani ka nasha, kisi ke dil pe mohabbat ki rawani ka nasha, kisi ko dekh ke saason se ubharta hai nasha, bina piye bhi kahi hadse guzarta hai nasha, nashe mien kaun nahi hai mujhe batao zara, kise hai hosh mere samne to lao zara, nasha hai sabpe magar rang nashe ka hai juda, khili khili hui subah pe hai shabnam ka nasha, hawa pe khushbu ka badal pe hai rimjhim ka nasha, kahin suroor hai khushiyon ka kahin gham ka nasha, nasha sharab mein hota to nachti botal, maikate ghoomte paimano mein hoti hulchul Yaad aaye kabhi tho aankhen num na karna, hum chale bhi jaye tho gam na karna yeh zaroori nahi hai rishetey ka koi naam ho par dosti ka ehsaas dil se kum na karna Anjane mein hum dil gawa baithe, is pyaar mein kaise dhoka kah baithe, unse kya gila kare bhul hamari hai jo bina dilwaloose dil laga baithe Yeh dosti ke rishte bhi ajeeb hote hain, sabke apne apne naseeb hote hain, rehte hai to nigahon se door, wahi yaadon ke sabse kareeb hote hain Har kadam pe imtehaan leti hai zindagi, har waqt naye sadme deti hai zindagi, zindagi se kaise shikwa kare, aap jaisa dost bhi to deti hai zindagi Safar lamba hai dost banate chalo, dil mile na mile haath baadhate chalo, TAJ na banao bahut mahanga padega, lekin jaha bhi jao, ek nayi MUMTAJ banate chalo Ye duriya yeh fasale najane kab kiye, kismat ne ye faisle, aap bhi udaas aur hum bhi bechain na khataa aapki na shikayat hamari,phir bhi yeh khamoshi phir bh ye tanhai, gum hogai hai wo khushbu se mehkte baatein wo mulakate wo meethi raatein, ab sirf beetey lamho ki yaadon ka ghera hai, najane kis waqt palak jhapakne se ansuon ka girna hai na thi hamari ye dosti kismat ko manzur agar aaj na hoti judai to kal ki thi yeh khabar, baat na hamari hai aur na hamari hai Gila rahe humse shikwa rahe humse, arzoo hai yehi ek silsila rahe humse, fasle ho darmiya ya khata ho humse dua hai bas nazdikiya rahe hamse Khuda se scooter mange toh car diya, phone manga to mobile diya, ghar manga to bangla diya, dost manga to tumhe diya, ae khuda akhri baar dhoka kyun diya Ishq ke charche bahut hain, husn ke parche bahut hain, humne bhi dekha ishq karke, baap re baap ishq mein karche bhi bahut hain Mohabbat mujhe thi usse itni saman, yaadon mein dil tadata raha, maut bhi chahat ko rok na saki kabr mein bhi dil dhadakta hai Khushi mile to hasna sake, gham mile to rona sake, zindagi ka to yeh hi dastur hai jise chaha use pana sake aur jise paya use chaha na sake Saaz ke 7 awaz, samander ke 7 sahil, phool ke 7 khushboo, jism ke 7 rooh, shama ke 7 parwane, khushi ke 7 gham aur aap ke saath hum Kanch chubhe to nishaan reh jata hai, dil tute to armaan reh jata hai, laga to deta hai waqt marham is dil par, phir bhi umar bhar ek zakham reh jata hai Dastur-e-wafa hum is tarah nibhaayenge, tum roz khafa hona, hum roz manayenge, teri pyaar ka sila agar mila to hum patthar mein phool khiladenge Samajh samajh kar samajh ko samajho, samajh samajhna bhi ek samajh hai, samajh samajh kar samajh ko jo na samajhe who meri samajh mein nasamajh hai� tho kya apa meri samajh ko samjhe nasamajh????? Sochta hum is sagar ki lehron ko dekh kar, kyun ye kinare se takra kar laut aate hain, karte hain wo kinare se bewafai ya sagar se wafa nibhate hain Dil-e-arzoo ne hume diwana bana diya, roye the na kabhi par tune rula diya, tumhe hamari yaad na aayi hogi, par humne tumhari yaad mein zamana bhula diya Geeta saar: sms who gyan hai jo batne se badhta hai, isliye hey praani, tu bill ka moh tyaag de aur sms kar, tabhi tera manav janam safal hoga Zaban khamosh magar dil bekarar hai, aankhe bata rahi hain tumhe kisi se pyaar hai, band rakha karo in ankho ko dost, ye aankhe nahi hai dil ki kitaab hain Dil ka dard dil todne wale kya jane, pyaar ko yeh zamana kya jaane, hoti hai kitni taqlif kabar mein, who upar se phool dalnewala kya jaane Yaad mein teri aahen bharta hai koi, maut sachai hai ek roz aani hai, lekin teri judai mein har roz marta hai koi Hum tho masroof the apni tanhaiyon mein, muddato baad kisi ne pukara hai, ek pal thehar kar sochne lage�kya yeh naam hamara hai Tamanao mein bhi tujhe yaad karene teri har baat par aitbaar karenge, tujhe aane ko nahi kahenge phir bhi tera intezaar karenge Badal gaya hai zamana� nahi nahaye tho kya sharmana, ab tho hai aapke paas readymade bahana, DO BUCKET PAANI AB ROZANA HAI BACHANA Gham mein hasne walon ko kabhi rulaya nahi jata, lehron se pani ko hataya nahi jata, hone wale ho jate hain khudhi dil se apne, kisiko kehkar apna banaya nahi jata Ek banda love letter likhta hai ek ladki ko aur neeche sign maarta hai, tumhara aur sirf tumhara aur tum na mili to kisi aur ka Gam ki aandhiyon mein hum utar jayenge, sagar hai samandar mein utar jayenge, hume marne ke liye faansi ki nahi zarurat , dil se nikal do yuhi mar jayenge Who mile humko kahani bankar, dil mein rahe pyaar ke nishani bankar, hum jinhe jagah dete hain, aankhon ke andar wo aksar nikal jate hain pani bankar Wo chum le ek baar to aati ahi neend, unki meethi awaz mein hi raat jaati hain beet, isliye kehta hum ye risk na uthao, kachua jalao machar bhagao Film aaya film gaya, cinema aaya madarsa gaya, fashion aya haya gayi, video aaya hidayat gayi, gana aaya tilarat gayi, rivaz aaya sunnat gayi, doulat aayi mohabbat gayi� allah hifazat farmae aameen Aaj ko guroor hai kyunki uske paas NOOR hai, ab hum kispe guroor kare hamara chand tho hamse door hai Aapki mehfil ka mausam suhana lage, ek pal churalu agar bura na lage, aap hume milkar bhul jaoge par apko bhulane mein shayad humko zamana lage Roz khwabo mein aate hain wo� apni har baat doharate hain wo� hamesha kehte hai ki rehenge paas aapke� subah hote hi tanha chod jate hain wo Deri hi sahi par duri to nahi, intezaar bhala par judai to nahi, milna bichadna to kismat hai apni, aakhir insane hain hum khuda to nahi Is dil mein tarane bahot hain, zindagi mein jeene ke bahan bahot hain, kis kis ko sms karu kambakht is nacheez ke deewane bahot hain Aisa nahi ki aapki yaad aati nahi, khata sirf itni hai ki batate nahi, aap zindagi se zyada anmol hain hamare liye, samajhte hoge aap, yeh soch hum jatate nahi Judai se pucho mohabbat kya hai, tadap kar who ro degi, zindagi se pucho maut kya hoti hai, mohabbat ke alawa kuch na kahegi Wafaun se ghabrate hain, jidhar bhi dekho gham hi gham nazar aate hain, dil ka dard ansu bankar na nikle isliye hum har waqt muskurate hain Diya hai bhagwan ne mobile to itni kadar karo, karo na karo call magar do char miss call to kiya karo. Hotho ki zuban ye ansu kehte hain, chup rehte hain lekin phir bhi behte hai, in aansuon ki kismat to dekhiye, ye unke liye behte hain jo in ankhon mien rehte hain Dil se khayal na jaaye to kya karun, tuhi bata tu yaad aaye to kya karun, hasrat hai tujhe ek nazar dekhloon lekin, kismat wo lamha na laaye to kya karun Mat kar mere dost hasino se mohabbat, wo aankhon se vaar karti hai, maine inhi aankhon se dekha hai, wo kitno se pyaar karti hain Zakham dene ka andaz kuch aisa hai, zakhm dekar puchte hain ab hal kaisa hai, kisi ek se gila kya karna yaro, sari duniya ka mizaz ek jaisa hai Pyaar karo� pyaar ki koyi hadh nahi hoti, do dilon ke beech sarhad nahi hoti, dilruba ko to sabhi chahte hain, bewafa ko chahne ki kismat sabhi ki nahi hoti Tere saath ke liye hazaro tanhaiyan kurbaan, teri ek jhalak ke liye hazaro tasveer kurban, tu saath ho to aur kya chahiye, teri ek muskan ke liye meri har khushi kurban Do you have it? Sulgta jism, kap-kapate honth, thar-tharata badan, lar-kharati awaz, nashili aankhen. If you do, you are suffering from MALARI, pleas take care Dosti � kaho to do lafz, mano to bandagi, socho to gehra sagar, dubo to zindagi, karo to aasan, nibhao to mushkil, bikhre to sara zamana, simte to sirf tumTaj mahal kuch logon ke liye ek ajuba hai, kuch ke liye mohabbat ka ehsaas hai, hamare tumhare liye ye ek bakwaas hai kyunki har roz badalti hamari mumtaz hai Lab khamosh ho jate hain, jab tum samne aaate ho dil dhadakta hai, jab nigaahe milate ho saans rukti hai jab muskurate ho to � heart patient hoon� itna kyun darate ho Tadap ke dekho kisi ke pyaar mein, to pata chale intezaar kya hota hai, yunhi mil jaye koyi bina chahe, to kaise pata chalega pyaar kya hota hai Dost aisi nibhao ki dekhne wale dang reh jaye; khuda bhi aa ke tumse puche kya hum bhi tumhare dost ban jaye Mosquito song � bhige hoth tere, pyasa pet mera, dikhe har jagah, mujhe khoon tera, kabhi mere saath koi raat guzar, tujhe subah tak main kaatu yaar ho ho ho Tussi bade, attractive, beautiful, cute, decent, fantastic, intelligent, lovable, outstanding, ravishing, smart, talented person, ka message padh rahe ho Mere pyaare dost tum (as blank screens possible) pagalon ki tarah kya dhoondh rahe ho? Kuch nahi hai Kuch bikhre sapne aur ankho mein nami hai, ek chotasa aasma aur umeedon ki zami hai, yun to bahot kuch hai zindagi mein, sirf jise chahte hain uski kami hai� Dil ke hasti bikhar gayi hoti, rook ke zakhm na bhare hote, ye zindagi aap hi ki amanat hai, warna hum to kabke mar gaye hote Andaz-e-dosti bhi aapki ek adaa hai, jisko bhi chaha aapne who aap par fida hai, dil mein basi hai ek pyaari si tasvir aapki, fir kaise keh du ke aap humse juda hain Teri taarif agar aina bhi kare, tod dun mian use dil mera kare Gham ke aansu dika nahi sakte, apna haq aap par jata nahi sakte, anmol ho tum meri nigahon mein yeh baat hum aapko bata nahi sakte After finishing MBBS, Dr. Munna bhai starts his practice. He checked first patient�s eyes, tongue and ears by torch and finally said BOLE TO� TORCH EK DUM MAST CHALRELA HAI Yaaro jab hamari maut ho jaye, hamara janaza gali gali se ghuma dena, raaste mein aaye agar mere maashuq ka ghar, to sar se zara kafan hata dena Kaash aaj barish aa jaye, kam se kam ek katori paani bhar jaye, jo mujhe sms na karta ho wo usme sharam se doob kar mar jaye. Bhulana tumhe na aasan hoga, jo bhule tumhe vo naadan hoga, apa to baste ho rooh mein hamari, aap hume na bhule ye aapka ehsaas hoga Yaad na karoge to sathayenge� ruthoge to manayenge, roo ge to hasayenge, dost hain hum tumhare, saya nahi, jo andhere mein tera saath chod jayenge Chala ja message tu gulab, hogi mohabbat to ayega jawab, khuda kisi ko kisi pe fida na kare, agar kare to sadiyon tak juda na kare Hum dosti ka farz yuhi nibhate rahenge waqt be waqt aap ko satate rahenge, duwa karo ke umar lambi ho hamari warna yaad ban kar aap ko zindagi bhar rulate rahenge Aaj ke baad mujhe call mar karna, na sma karna, baat bhi mar karna, milneki koshish to bilkul mat karna, kyun ki doctor ne mujhe sweet cheezon se door rahne ko kaha hai Masterji: kal school kyun nahi aaya? Santa: gir gaya tha lag gayi Masterji: kahan gire, kahan lagi? Santa: takiye pe gira tha aur aankh lagi Na chaho itna hamey, chahaton se dar lagta hai, na aao itna kareeb ke, judaai se dar lagta hai, tumhari wafaon pe bharosa hai, magar apne nasib se dar lagta hai Andheron se nahi darta main ujalon se ghabra jata hoon, ke ab maut se bhi nahi marta main, zindagi se kamzor pad jata hun Dil ki dhadkano ko dhadka gaya koi, mere khwabo ko mehka gaya koi, hum to anjane rasto pe chal rahe the achanak hi pyaar ka matlab sikha gaya koi Silsile tho yuhi chalet rahenge, faasle bhi badhte rahenge, aap kya samajhenge hamari baat ko, aapke bina tho hum pal pal marte rahenge Kyun chalti hai pawan � coz of evaporation Kyun jhoome hai gagan � coz of earth�s revolution Kyun machal ta hai Mann � coz of excessive respiration Kyun aati hai bahar � coz of change in season Kyun jata hai qarar � coz of mental tension Kyun hota hai pyaar � opposite attraction Kyun ghum hai har disha � coz you have a poor sense of direction Kyun hota hai nasha � coz of drug addiction Kyun aata hai maza � scienc give us all the information NA TUM JANO NA HUM Dosti se badi jageer nahi, is se acchi tasveer nahi, ek bareek prem ka dhaga hai, phir bhi is se mazboot koi zanjeer nahi Dil me kuch bacha nahi Dard ke Siva, aankho me aata nahi koi aasu ke Siva, yar tu mat saath chod Na mera zindagi mein kuch bach nahi teri dosti ke Siva Sardarji goes to see Jurassic park when dinosaurs start approaching he covers himself in his seat. His friend asks kyun sardarji kya baat hai? Dar kyun lag raha hai? Cinema hi tho hai. Sardarji replies aadmi hoon aur akkal hai. Pata hai ki cinema hai. Lekin who to janwar hai, usko kya pata Bikta agar pyar tho kaun nahi kharidta! Bikti agar khushiyan tho kaun use bechta? Dard agar bikta tho hum aapse kharid lete, aapki khushiyon ke liye hum khudko bech dete Teacher: you have to aim for 90% Student: I will get 100% marks Teacher: mazak kyun kar rahe ho Student: mazak shurukisne kiya tha? Bahut chaha magar unhe bhula na sake, khayalo mein kisi aur ko la na sake, kisi ko dekh ke aansu tho poch liye, par kisi ko dekh ke muskura na sake Phool hai gulab ka, ped se Na nikalo, naam hai SAM ka dil se Na nikalo. Wah wah Ulfat mein kabhi yeh haal hota hai, aankhen hasti hai magar dil rota hai, banate hain hum jise manzil apni, hum Safar uska koi aur hota hai Guzri Hui zindagi KO kabhi yaad Na karna, taqdeer mein jo likha hai uski fariyad Na karna, jo hoga who hokar rahega, tu fikr mein apni umar yun barbaad Na karna Bheegti aankhon se rukhsat Na karo, humse tum itni mohabbat Na karo, kaise reh payenge hum tho marjayenge, iss tarah toot ke chahat Na karo Kaash wo nagme humein sunaye na hote aaj unko sunkar yeh ansu na aye hote, agar is tarah bhul jana hi tha to itni gahrai se dil mein samaye na hote Basanti says: bhag dhano, bhag aaj teri basanti ki izaat ka sawal hai Dhano: tujhe apni adi hai! Mera soch jiske peeche gabbar ke 10 ghode pade hain Yeh armaan to kaanch ke tukde hain, jo dil ki zameen par bikhre hain, inko mat chedo ke zakhm gehra hai, in par aaj bhi kisi ki yaadon ka pehra hai� Ja sms ja, mere sweet and lonely dost ke pass ja, dhire se jana wo aksar busy hote hain, shor na machana, busy ho to kuch mat kehna, free hoge to miss you kehna Barkha bahaar aayi, phulo ki bahaar chaayi, chehre par muskan layi, aise mausam me teri yaad aayi, kyunki tune mujhe coffee nahi pilayi! Happy Sardar ka beta: papa, aaj main bus ke piche daud ke ghar aaya, mere 3hrs. bachgaye. Sardar�s dad: oye kardi na sardaron wali baat, auto ke piche aate Rs.30/- bachte Hey bhagwan ke naam pe ek biwi dede, apni nahi tho dusre ki dede, bhagwan tujhe ek ke badle teen dega, kareena ke saath prerna aur aparna free dega Andhey ke haath mein kitab, bahre ke haath mein radio, gunge ke haath mein mike aur aap ke haath mein mobile, sochiye kya hoga is desh ka? Muddat se door the hum aur padhai� ek arse ke baad padhna achha laga� kuch pal ke baad bore hone laga� phir kitab khol tho sakte the par bandh karna accha laga NAMASKAR, zinda ho to ek sms bhejo, asmaan mein chale gaye ho to barish bhejo, swarg mein ho tho apsara bhejo, agar narak mein ho tho� enjoy yourself Khuda ne sansaas banaya aur so gaya. Khuda ne insaan banaya phir so gaya, phir khuda ne ladki banai� na khud soya na dusro ko sone diya Mere jeene ke liye apka arman kafi hai, dil ke kalam se likhi dastan kafi hai, apki tasveer ki kya zarurat hai hame, apko dekhne ke liye bandh aankh hi kafi hai Jinki tamanna dil mein thi judaai ab hum unki sahte hain, fursat nahi unhe humse baat karne ki, isliye hum har waqt khamosh se rehte hain Chand ko guroor hai uske paas noor hai to kya, mujhe bhi guroor hai ki mera dost langooor hain Tez dhadkano ko sunkar bhi tujhe pyaar ki kadar nahi hoti� kya mehsoos karoge tum dil ka dard, dil ki tutne ki to awaaz bhi nahi hoti Zindagi tere bina adhuri hai, na jane kyun tere mere beech ye duri hai, sochta hun bhula dun tujhko par kya karu teri ek muskurahat meri kamzori hai. Murja gya phool par bahar wahi hai, dur hai aapse magar pyaar wahi hai, jante hai hum mil nahi sakte, magar in ankhon mein intezar wahi hai Dil mein hamesha ek shor ho raha hai, no sms, no call yeh kya ho raha hai, kahin aisa to nahi, ke ek pyaara sa dost mujhe bhool raha hai Jaam tutne ka bahana na kar, hum to aankhon se pee lenge, tu mat aa lekin aane ka wada to kar, hum tere intezaar mein jee lenge Raat chup chap hai magar chand khamosh nahi, kaise kehdu aaj phir hosh nahi, aisa dooba teri aankhon ki gharia mein, haath mein jaam hai magar peene ka hosh nahi Teri soorat pe ye dil haaru� teri har zaroorat pe ye jaan vaaru� jab bhi sochu tere bare mein�dil kare teri kanpatti pe rakh ke do maaroo Reth pe naam kabhi likhte nahi, reht pe likhe naam kabhi tikte nahi� tumne hume pathar dil to keh diya par pathar pe likhe naam kabhi mitte nahi Mulakat maut ki mehmaan ho gayi hai, nazar ki duniya viraan ho gayi hai, ab meri saans bhi meri nahi rahi, ye zindagi ab aap par qurbar ho gai hai Koi dikha ke roye, koi chupa ke roye, hame rulane wale hame rula ke roye, marne ka maza to tab hai yaaron� jab kaatil bhi janaaze per aa ke roye Kabhi dost kehte ho, kabhi dua dete ho, kabhi bewaqt neend se jaga dete ho, par jab bhi hume sms karte ho, khuda kasam khushi se rula dete ho Jitne pyaar paya hai tumse, usse aur jyada pane ko jee chahte hai, jane wo konsi khubi hai tumme ki, har rishta tumse banane ko jee chahta hai Wo taaza thanda paani, wo khushbudaar sabun, bathroom, shampoo ki bottle se saja hai, tum kya jano, dost roz nahane mien kitna maza hai 1st gadha � yaar main jis dhobi ke ghar kaam karta hoon vo mujhe bahut marta hai 2nd gadha � tu ghar chod kar bhaag kyon nahi jata 1st gadha � kya batau yaar dhobi ki ek bahut sundar ladki hai, vo jab bhi shararat karti hai tho dhobi kehta hai ki teri shaadi kisi gadhe se kar dunga, bas yeh soch kar ruka hua hun a drunken sardar falls from 3rd floor� people gather around asked him, ki hoya sardarji? He said pata nahi, main bhi abhi aaya Pani ka ek katra aankh se gira abhi abhi, kya tum ne mujhko yaad kiya abhi abhi� tujh se mile zamana hua magar� yun laga koi mujhse mil ke gaya abhi abhi Tab tak pyaar se pyaar na karo, jab tak pyaar aap se pyaar na kare, aur jab pyaar aap se pyaar kare to use aisa pyaar karo ki pyaar kisi aur se pyaar na kare Phool bankar muskurana zindagi hai, muskurake gum bhulana zindagi hai, jeetkar khush ho to kya hua, sab kuch haar kar khushiya manana zindagi hai Gham ke saaye me guzaara hai jevan humne, apni palko ko aansuo se sajaya hai humne� apni chahat ko kabhi paa na sake hum, khud rokar dusro ko hasaya hai humne Jab kabhi koi gam sataye� koi baat dil ko na bhaye� ankhen sagar chalkayen.. yaad karke dekhna same� kya pata, ek ansu kam ho jaye Birds are chillaying, hen is kukding, flowers are khushbu maaring, sun is ugging moon is doobing, peacock in naching, sky is whiting, all telling good morning Aankhon mein aasu aa jate hai, phir bhi labon pe hasi rakhni padti hai, ye mohabbat bhi kya cheez hai yaaron, jisse karte hain useese chupaani padti hai Apke sms ke intezaar me humne peena shuru kiya� itna piya.. itna piya.. ke pite hi reh gaye� kya kare�. Bada thumps up hai khatam hi nahi hota Chandni raat ka samay tha, goa ka beach that, romantic sa mahol tha, aur tum mere saath that� baap re baap kitna daravna sapna tha Kem cho majama? Tabiyat sari? Baki anand mangal? Haath nahti dukhta ne? aankh pan ok? Magaj barabar? Kamala cho yaar tho pachi sms karo ne bapa! Jo ho gaya wo ho gaya, jo hona hoga, wo hoga aur jo nahi hona hai wo nahi hoga kyunki jo hona hai wo tho hoga hi hog ab dekhana hai ki kya hoga aur kya nahi hoga hone ko tho kuch bhi hoga yahi sochan hai ki kya hoga aur kya hoga agar kuch hoga tho thik hoga aur nahi hoga tho bhi thik hoga, thik hoga tho kis kaaran se hoga aur kaaran hi this nahi hoga tho kuch kaise thik hoga. Ab aap batao ki aage kya hoga? Kisi aur ko bhejiega, acchha time pass hoga Dillagi dosto ke naam hoti hai, dildari dosto ki shan hoti hai, kahi bhi raho par rahoge dil me mere yahi sacchi dosti ki pehchan hoti hai Messages aate hain delete ho jate hain, yaad aati hai dil me simat jati hai messages aur yaad me fark itna hai messages bewaqt aate hain aur yaad hamesha aati hai Hello hello frendwa, kaisn ho, hamar se koi galti hui gava kya? Tohar smswa ke darshan kiye ek jamana beet gava, tanik ek dui messagewa humko bhi bhijwai deo College ki char diwari mein ajeeb sa khel hota hai, khel ki khel mein dilo ka mel hota hai, isi liye to pappu har saal fail hota hai Tumhari lambi umar ho, tum khush raho, tum jo mango wo tumhe mile, ab ye sab yaad kar, kitchen me ja, katora pakad, ghar se nikal, aur shuru hoja� all the best for it Koi din me karta hai, koi raat mein karta hai, kisi ka aadhe ghante mein hota ahi, kisi ka 2 ghante mein hota hai, kisi ka raat bhar bhi nahi hota � MOBILE CHARGING Sharaab bani to maikhaane bane, pyaar bana to deewane bane, kuch to hai baat aap mein, yun hi nahi pagalkhane bane Pyar mein har rasam nibhadi humne, tujhe pane ke liye hasti mita di humne, tuney kadr na jaani meri wafaao ki, teri aarzoon me har khushi lutadi humne Pappu ki shaadi pakki ho gayi hai, aur aap sab ko shaadi mein bulaya hai� shagun ke lifafe khali leke aana.. kyunki PAISE PAPPU DEGA Husband and wife were fighting. Husband say, tu saali kutti, wife says tu saala kutta. Their little son who was sitting near says, main saala pilla Unki yaad dil se bhulai nahi jati, ye dil ke daulat roz lutai nahi jati kis muh se log kehte hain ki unko bhuljaye, yeh pyaar ki duniya hai roz basai nahi jati Muddat se door they hum aur tum, ek zamaane ke baad milna accha laha, sagar se gehri lagi aapki aankhen, tairne to aata that hame par dubna accha laga (Javab bhejo) andhe ki biwi ko behra uthat kar le gaya, aur gunge ne dekha. To gunga andhe ko kaise batayega. It�s a challenge for you Rose, lotus, tulips, orchids, sunflower, Lilly� all flowers are sweet but they have no comparison with you. Coz gobhi ka phool ki baat hi alag hai Hum who aashiq hain jo gulab ko bhi kamal bana denge, uskk ek ada pe koi ghazal bana denge, agar wo aagayi zindagi mein tho kasam se hyderabad me bhi ek TAJ MAHAL bana denge Kabhi kabhi hosla bhi azmana chahiye, bure waqt mein bhi muskurana chahiye, agar saath din me bhi khujli na mite, tho aathwe din zaroor naha lena chahiye Zindagi sabko mile zaruri to nahi, pyar sabko mile zaruri to nahi, kuch log bahut yaad aate hain par wo bhi hame yaad kare zaruri to nahi Teacher: whats your name? Student: mera naam surya prakash hai Teacher: answer me in English fool Student: my name is sunlight Choti choti baato pe takrar na kiya karo� hamare har mazakj ko dil pe mat liya karo� kya pata sath hai aut kitne din ka, in palon ko tho pyar se jiya karo Jab ghire badal teri yaad aayi, jhoom ke barsa sawan teri yaad aayi, beege hum fir teri yaad aayi, kyon na aaye yaad, tune chatri abhi tak nahi lautai Unnidhi kya unse jinki ummid hum nahi, khushi hi kya unse jinki khushi hum nahi, gham hai is baat ka aaj humare paas WO hai, lekin unke paas hum nahi Narm palko ke saye me chupa le tumko, ji karta hai is jahan se chura le tumko, hai khauf ki reh Na jaye tanha saanse, bachi saanso ki khushboo mein basa le tumko Hasaya tha jisne hame, rulaya bhi usine� jisne jeena sikahaya that hame, aaj dafnaya bhi usine Door hojane se rishte nahi toot Te, naahi sirf paas rehne se judte, and yeh to dilon ke bandhan hai isliye hum aapko aur aap hame nahi bhoolte Ateet apne aap KO kyun dohrata hai, milkar koi phir kyun kho jata hai, zindagi bhar saath rehne ka vada kyun kiya, jab tumhe sirf bichadna hi aata hai Judaai har pal mehsoos Na hoti, kash who itni majboor Na hoti, waqt banaa deta hai insaan KO bewafa� warna mohabbat itni mashoor Na hoti Kisi mod par hum aapko khone nahi denge, juda hona chaho to bhi hone nahi denge, chandni raaton mein aayegi meri yaad, meri yaad ke WO pal aapko sone nahi denge Tumhare liye sms chand pe likhne ko dil chahta hai, magar kya karu, kambakht yeh khayal bhi amawas ki raat ko aata hai Babaji ka mela laga hai haridwar mein, prasad mein kambal diye jayenge, Kisis aur ko mat batana ye sms sirf selected bhikarioyn ko bheja ja raha hai Dear bhaiya, hazaar saal jiyo RAKHI MIL GAYI HOGI mera cell kho gaya hai isliye �unke� cell se sms kar rahi hoon. Tumhari pyar bahen � MALLIKA SHERAWAT TT in moving train: ticket dikhao Sardar: lo dekho TT: yeh tho platform ka ticket hai Sardar: to humko bhi to platform par hi utarna hai. Bolo tara ra ra Who dhundte rahe hame idhar udhar, shayad unhe hamari talaash thi, par afsoos jis kabar pe the unke kadam usi me dafan hamari laash thi Telugu style wedding card LAGGAM PILUPU � maa pedda poradu chi:Ellaiah, Chi la sau: Ellamma (sattenna sinna bidda) ane porini pelli cheskuntundu. Meerandaru tappaka raavale,yaad maristhe manchigundadi. Pellam pillagandlani guda thisukurandri. Zarantha bada dil cheskoni moallaki mubarak bath iyyale Mulakaat maut ki mehmann ho gai, nazar ki duniya veeran ho gai, ab to meri saans bhi meri na rahi, yeh zindagi aap ki ilzaamo par kurbaan ho gai Teacher: why are you late? Student (HYDERABADI): jab mai eschool ku aane ke waste ghar se nikla to baigan ki meri merku 1 kutta kaat diya to mai usku teen time phod diya iske waste late hua Teacher: talk in English Student: wen mai coming eschool tab mai baigan ku one dog cutting den I phod dog teen times so maiself aya late Mohabbaton me jeene wale khusnaseb hain, mohabbaton me marne wale bhi ajeeb hain, haseen hai hamari daastan jaan-e-man, faaslo me rehte hain lekin kareen hain Who mud mud ke hume dekh rahe the aur hum unhe, Who mud mud ke hume dekh rahe the aur hum unhe kyunki exam me na unhe kuch ata tha na hame Tohar chehra chand ke saman tohar aankehein chand ke saman tohar baal, naak, sab chand ke saaman, aur chand hamari bhainswa ka naam. English teacher: One cute and young girl is walking on the road � Change this into an exclamatory sentence. Student: ma ki kirkiri kya potti hai baap Rishta aisa hona chahiae jo hame apna maan sake, hamare har dukh ko jaan sake, chal rahe ho agar hum tez barish me, fir bhi wo pani me se aansuo ko pehchan sake Janaza mera, usth raha that, phir bhi takleef this unko aane mein, bewafa ghar mein baithe puch rahe the, aur kitni der hai dafanane mein Shamma parwane se ro ro ke keh rahi hai Shamma parwane se ro ro ke keh rahi hai�..zara rumal to do meri naak beh rahi hai Dur se hi who salaam kar gayi, apni yaadon ka hame gulaam kar gayi, apni zindagi girvi rakh kar kahrida tha jise aaj wo hi hame nilaam kar gayi 2 sardar smsing their gfs 1st sardar: main tere mobile se apni gf ko sms bheju? 2nd sardar: no 1st: why? 2nd : usne handwriting pehchan li to jab huma unse mohabat thi, tab unhe hamari mohabbat par shaq tha�.jab unhe ehsaas hua hamari mohabbat ka tab hum par kisi aur ka haq tha kisi ki yaad ne pagal bana rakha hai, kahi mar na jaoun kafan sila rakha hai, dafnate waqt dil nikal lena kahin wo bhi na dafan ho jae jisko dil me basa rakha hai tanhai me akelapan saha jayega par mahfil me akela raha na jayega, aap ka sat nahi firbhi jiya jayega par aapke saat koi aur ho ye saha nahi jayega Ek yakeen tha wo bhi jata raha, koi na ab mera usse nata raha, kisi baat ka guroor to zaroor hai usko, jo apni khushi ke liye mujhko rulata raha Kitnee rate beet gai, kitne di beet gaye, bus beeta nahi to yadoon ka wo pal, wo guzra hua kal, biti nahi to ankho ki nami aur apki kami Khushiyon ne wada kiya ki wo 5 din ke baad aayegi�..zindagi ke calendar mein deha to kambakht�.jeene ke din hi chaar they Ishq ek nasha hai jo dard ki gali me bikta hai, ek pal ka gham hai par zindagi bhar ki saza hai, usey maut kya maregi jo saza e ishe me fanaa hai Dil me hai jo dard vo dard kise batae, haste hue ye zakhm kise dikhae, kehti hai ye duniya hame khush nasib, magar is nasib ki dastan kise batayen Doctor mariz ke peeche bhaag raha tha. People asked kya hua? Doctor bola 4 baar aisa hua, saala brain operation karwane aata hai aur hair cut karwake bhag jata hai Ladki patane ka tarika�chup ke se uske peche jakar usse pakado, agar wo hasi tho samjho pat gayi, agar gusa hui to zor zor se chilao didi dar gai didi dar gai Most innocent dhamki: as the thief was leaving the house, the kid woke up and said to the thief: mera schoolbag bhi le kar jao varna main mummy ko utha doonga Vade karte hain, kasme kahte hai phir bhi na jane kyun log saath chod jate hain, hame to taklif hoti hai phool todne mein bhi, na jaane log dil kaise tod jaate hain Unse door jane ka irada na tha, sada saath rehne ka bhi vaada na tha, wo yaad na karenge ye jaante the hum, par itni jaldi bhool jayenge andaaza na tha Kagaz par humne zindagi likhde, ashkon se sinch kar khushi likhdi, dard jab humne utara lafzo mein, logo ne kaha vaah vaah kya gazal likhdi Bhigi palko ke sang muskurate hain hum, pal pal dil ko behlate hai hum� koi door hai humse to kya hua, har saans me uski aahat pate hai hum Kisi ko apa banane me deri lag jaati hai, ek waada nibhane mein deri lagjati hai, pyaar tho pal bhar me ho jati hai, magar use nibhane me umar lagjati hai Ek dil mere dil ko zakhm de gaya, zindagi bhar na milne ki kasam de gaya, laakh phulon me ek phul chuna than hamne, jo kanto se bhi gehri chuban de gaya�. Chehre ki har Muskaan bann jata hai koi, Dil ki har Dhadkan bann jata hai koi, Phir kaise jiyenge Zindagi unke bin, jab Zindagi jine ki wajah ban jata hai koi� Ashiq ankho ki baat samajh lete hai, woh khwabo me aayen toh mulakat samajh lete hai, rota hai aasman apni zamin ke liye, log pagal hai usse barsat samajh lete hai... Usko milne ka mann bahut kar raha hai� Mann ko samjhaya toh Dil tadap raha hai� Dil ko bataya toh ankhe roh padi� Unhe chup karaya toh SAANSE bol padi�. �I MISS U�� Khoob aati hai jab bhi aati hai, Yaad teri bahot sataati hai, Dhoop main,chaanw main, ghataao.n mai.n, Teri soorat ubhar ke aati hai Rukta bhi nahi, theek se chalta bhi nahi Yeh dil hai kay tere baad sambhalta hi nahi Is umar key sehra say teri yaad ka baadal Talta bhi nahi aur barasta bhi nahi Khudaa jab husn deta hai nazaakat aaa hi jati hai Kadam chun chun kar rakhti ho kamar balkha hi jaati hai Ye badal ye bijli sirf apke liye hai, Ye mausam ye hawa sirf apke liye hai, 6 mahine bit gaye apko nahye hue, Ye barish yeh boonde sirf apke liye hai Agar Zindagi me Judai Na Hoti, toh Kabhi Kisi ki yaad Aayi na hoti, Saath Guzarte har Lamhe, toh Shayad Rishto me yeh Gehrai Aayi na Hoti Jab bhi Chand ko Dekho yaad Karna Humme, Yeh Sochkar Nahi ki kitna Khubsurat hai woh, Yeh Sochkar ke Tanha hai woh bhi, Sitaron ki Bheed mein� Dard jitna saha jaye utna hi sehna Dil ko jo lag jaye woh baat na kehna Milte hai hamare jese dost bahat kam iss liye KABHI ALVIDA NA KAHNAA Dete hai kyu yeh Dard bas hami ko, kya Samjhenge woh in Aankho ki nami ko, lakho Deewane ho jis Chand ke, woh kya Mehsus karega Ek Tare ki Kami ko� Mohabbat rang lati hai,jaab dil se dil milte hai, Mohabbat rang lati hai,jaab dil se dil milte hai, Mushkil to yeh hai,ke dil badhi mushkil se milte Aap ke baar Swan mei sharart hamre sath huyi Aab ke baar sawan mei sharart hamre sath huyi humara ghar chood ke sare sheer(city) mei barsat huyi... Yaadein wo nahin jo Tanhai mein aati hai, Yaadein wo nahin jo Tanhai mein aati hai, Yaadein to woh hai jo Bheed mein bhi Tanha kar jaati hai Yaadon ki dhund me aapki parchai si lagti hai, Kaanon me gunjti shahnai si lagti hai, Aap karib ho to apnapan hai, Warna seene me saanse bhi parai si lagti hai Saton Aasmaon ki sair ham kar aaye, Har ek tare se Dosti kar aaye, Ek Tara khas tha jise hum apne saath le aaye, Varna aap hi Sochiye ki aap is zameen par kyoon aaye? Chiragon se agar andhera duur hota, toh chand ki chahat kise hoti. Kat sakti agar akele zindagi, to dosti naam ki cheez hi na hoti.. chand taro ka noor aap par barse, har koi aapki chachat ko tarse, zindagi main aaye itni khushiyan, ki aap ek gum pane ko tarse Humse dur jaoge kaise� Aap hame Bhulaoge kaise� Hum toh rehte hai Sason me aapki� Khudki saason ko Rok paoge kaise� Zamane ki har Zannat apke liye hogi, yeh Aasma yeh Zamin aapke liye hogi, Mujhse keh bhi na paoge, uske pehle mere hisse ki har Khushi aapke liye hogi� Zindagi choti aur jina Asaan nahi hai, Saath nibhana badi mushkil baat hai, Magar yeh Wada raha jab tak Zindagi hamare paas hai, hum aapke saath hai� gum ke andhero main khud ko yun na bekarar kar, gum ke andhero main khud ko yun na bekarar kar, subah zarur aayegi, subah ka intezaar kar....... Hasrat hai Aap Se Kuch Kahna Cahta hu, Tere Gam Ko aapna Kahna Cahta Hu, Cahe Marna Bhi Pade Isse Duniya Se, Markar Bhi Teri Nigahoo Main Rahna Cahta hu Baat Dil ki Nighaho se Kehte rahe, hum Uske Gham Khamoshi se Sehte rahe, Hum thae, Tanhayi thi, aur tha hamara Aaina, Khud se Hum Apni Dastaan Sunate rahe� Pyar Karnewalon ki kismat kharab hoti hai, Har waqt inteha ki ghadi sath hoti hai, Waqt mile to rishto ki kitab khol ke dekh lena, Dosti har rishtey se lajawab hoti hai Pyaar kamjor dil se kiya nahi ja sakta, Zeher Dushman se liya nahi ja sakta, Dil mein basi hai ulfat jis pyar ki us ke bina jiya nahi ja sakta. Saath rehte rehte yuhin waqt guzar jayega Door hone ke baad kaun kise yaad aayega Jee lo ye pal jab humsath hai kal ka kya pata, waqt kahan le jayega Jaan hai mujhko zindagi se pyaari, Jaan ke liye kar doon kurbaan yaari, Jaan ke liye todd doon dosti tumhaari, Ab tumse kya chhupaana, Tum hi toh ho jaan hamaari ! Tumse doori ka ehsaas sataane lagaa, Tere saath guzaraa har lamha yaad aane laga, Jab bhi tujhe bhoolne ki koshish ki aye dost, Tu dil ke aur bhi kareeb aane laga ! Zindagi nahin humein doston se pyaari, Doston pe haazir hai jaan hamaari, Aankhon mein hamaari aansoon hai toh kya, Jaan se bhi pyaari hai muskaan tumhaari ! Jasbaate ishq naakaam naa hone denge, Dil ki duniya mein kabhi shaam naa hone denge, Dosti ka har ilzaam apne sar par le lenge, Par dost hum tumhe badnaam na hone denge ! Dosti toh sirf ek ittefaaq hai, Yeh toh dilon ki mulaakaat hai, Dosti nahi dekhti yeh din hai ki raat hai, Isme toh sirf wafaadaari aur jasbaat hai !
Posted on: Thu, 01 Aug 2013 23:52:30 +0000
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