Morning December 24th, 2014 Yesterday Meredith and I had a very good day. She is becoming very proficient with her crawling skills. Today she crawled all around the living room. While she was playing on her blanket, I went into the den area at the front of the house for something. By the time I was coming out of that room, she had crawled into the hallway following me. I have to tell you, she is a wonderful little challenge and she demands that I am alert to her wanderings now. I’m doing well. My focus is on the present. There are a thousand clichés I could write to go along with my last statement. Keeping myself grounded in the moment seems to be the most successful way to handle this day and the next few days coming. Speaking of the moment, when Shirley came home from work, Meredith was ready for her dinner. Shirley jumped right in and put her food together and sat down with her to feed her dinner. Meredith is eating from the table well now and while I ate my dinner, Shirley gave her some broccoli and mashed potatoes along with small bits of beef. Watching Meredith eat can be entertaining. The one thing she doesn’t have to be prompted to do is eat. The other day we received a small live tree, an evergreen in the mail. With it came miniature ornaments and lights. The tree was a gift from the parents of one of Kendra’s friends. We call it Meredith’s tree. It could just as easily be a remembrance for Kendra and I like to think of it in that way. This is something that can be planted in the yard after Christmas. It would be a fitting way to look at something that would be Kendra’s and Meredith’s. Remembrance and growth for two of the three girls in my life symbolized in a tree. Everything I am doing now is purposeful, designed to keep my mind active and my heart as far from difficult thoughts as possible. However, using some of my coping skills I have determined for myself the best way in the long term to deal with my memories and flashbacks is to work my way through them rather than try and redirect my though processes. Anyway, I am willing to try. If it doesn’t work the first few times, maybe I am not ready. At least I will know one way or another. I am focused on keeping my thoughts positive and purposeful. With that I think of all those people suffering in so many ways beyond the walls of my home. My prayers go out to those that need the care of other people, but they either don’t know how to ask, or they are for some other reason unable to ask. It takes the vigilance of you and me to see those suffering and offer God’s blessings through our works. If I thought I could do more than pray for those in need right now I’d get out and do something in some way or another to help. I am afraid that seeing situations of sorrow and grief would trigger my own problems. I may very well be wrong. Given that the next few days will be emotionally charged, I will pray for situations I know about and honor others sorrows through intercession. My blessings have been many. I am grateful for all those that take the time to contact me or my family. There is nothing that can help more than the blessings of others given to the grieving. I can tell you that to those looking from the outside, a year may seem like a long time and maybe I should be over my pain in their eyes. A year is a blink of the eye and it is the beginning of a replay of dates and moments, crisis after crisis that I have ingrained in my mind. I know the days and the hours certain things happened. I relive those moments, some more frightful than others. God truly sends us to those who are hurting because he knows that next to His love, the best help we can have is to feel the love of another human in our worst moments of our needs. We are blessing God as well when we do for others what they cannot not always do for themselves. “For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? 38 And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.” Matthew 25:35-40 My family was that stranger that was welcomed by so many in Birmingham during our vigil with Kendra. My family was sick of heart and many here in our area came to our aid and helped us with so many spiritual and physical needs. When we were blessed, God was blessed. In keeping with what I am working to have, a positive mindset comes my thanks to everyone that whispered our names in prayer, lifted our family when we were broken. All I can do here is say thank you. Beyond here, I will heal and pass forward the love we have been nurtured with for nearly a year now. God is good. Papi
Posted on: Wed, 24 Dec 2014 12:01:00 +0000
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