Moving Forward after Infidelity Were you cheated on? *It is absolutely vital for you to move forwardwith life and love. Being willing to trust againis key. Take things one step at a time. *Dont try to make sense out of nonsense Rationalizing your cheating spouses behavioror sympathizing with him/her is pointless. Itis never OK to go outside of your relationshipto solve problems within a relationship. Itsnot your fault. *Time heals nothing. It is what you do withthe time that matters. *Remember that it is better to be healthyalone than sick with someone else. *If your partner wants back in, he/she willhave to earn his/her way back into therelationship. Renegotiate the relationship in away that works for both of you. *There comes a point in time where you mayhave to draw a line and say, Thats it, Imdone. Im not mad at you. I withdraw myfeelings, I withdraw my emotions. You just godo whatever youre going to do because Imnot going to live like this anymore. Dont staytogether for the children. *Remember, kidswould rather be from a broken home than live in one. Theyre much better off with one well-adjusted, happy, thriving parent, than they arewith two who are cheating, lying, fighting, andliving with stress and pressure. *If there was a child born of the infidelity, understand that your spouse will forever have a relationship with that childs other parent. *You have to make the decision about whether you can resolve to be part of that or not. Did you have an affair? *Own the problems that you created byhaving an affair. You cannot change what you dont acknowledge.It is unfair to compare a new, exciting,taboo fantasy relationship to one youve beenin for years where there are kids, bills to pay,a house to run and noses to wipe. That is a ridiculous comparison. *In order to resolve your relationship, contact with the other person must be cut off 100 percent. You cant work on dealing with the consequences of the affair while youre still having it. *Dont rely on your heart to tell you what to do; rely on your intellect. *Do what logic tells you is the right thing to do.Make the hard decisions. *Either leave the marriage to free your partner, or commit to stay. Remember, checking out of one relationship before you finish it appropriately doesnt work. Ask yourself: What are you doing to help your partner get past the affair? *Be mature enough to recognize that life is not always all about you and what feels goodfor you in the moment. If you are married andhave children, you have an obligation and a commitment that far transcends what feels good. *Help the partner who did not have the affair find emotional closure. *You must do whatever it takes until your partner finds it. If itrequires you to check in with your spousemultiple times a day, then do it. Itll require you being where youre supposed to be, when youre supposed to be, 24 hours-a-day, seven days-a-week, so your spouse can trust you again. And you do it until. *If a child was born of the infidelity, you willhave to have contact with the other person inorder to be co-parents. *And you do this the right way by not having any contact without your spouses involvement. If you want to talkwith the other person, then you do it with yourspouse present. Want to know if something is cheating? *If you wouldnt do it with your spouse standing there, its cheating. *If your marriage is over and you have children, understand that your relationship with your ex will never end. You will always at least be co-parents of your children. Build a new relationship as their allies. *Do you know what a healthy relationship is? *Figure out what you want and behave yourway to success. Premier Private Investigations & Consulting
Posted on: Sat, 12 Jul 2014 11:13:04 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015