My apologies, everyone. Everything Ive been posting lately is tinged with some degree with bitterness. I hate the sour person Ive become. Chalk it up perhaps to the frustrating position Im in - between teaching jobs, in the midst of too many unfinished projects, in the grip of asinine time-devouring obsessions, and so on and on and on and on. Reflecting on the progress Ive made up to this point, I can at least point to one definitely good move Ive made and thats marrying Gene. But disappointment seems to have long taken root in the deepest part of me, and thrives despite everything I try to accomplish. I am at least thirty years ahead of my favorite poet, if thats anything to give me comfort: Pausing in my sixth decade/ At the end of a journey/ Around the earth - where am I?/ I am sitting on a rock/ Close beside a waterfall/ Above Kurama Hot Sprigs/ In the hills above Kyoto./ So I have sat by hundreds,/ In the Adirondacks and/ The Green Mountains of Vermont, In the Massif Central, Alps,/ Cascades, Rockies, Sierras,/ Even Niagara long, long/ Ago in a night of snow./ The water speaks the same language./ It should have told me something/ All these years, all these places,/ Always saying the same thing./ I should have learned more than I did,/ My wit ought to have been more./ I am older than I was,/ In Winters and in lore./ What can I see before me/ In the waters smoke and mist? I should have learned something.
Posted on: Tue, 09 Sep 2014 07:48:29 +0000