My apology: To ask the addicts recovering.....still using....families of.......people that arent so sure.....those in denial.......I am sorry for the wishy washy confusing defeated posts lately.I have been on a roller coaster ride psychologically.I love hard and fight hard.when I am fearful my defenses go up and I become closeminded and difficult.It protects me.....I throught..now it just poisons me and maximizes gets bigger and bigger and spreads. I got my heart broken........then someone stuck jr nose in my business that I dont speak to......I wanted to beat her ass......I was in distress and felt none of the people claiming to love me really did.But the truth is.....someone I loved showed her true colors everyone isnt as transparent as me...good or bad I am an open book. Next the girl sticking her nose in my business......I was violent most my life and I knew it wasnt right and although I didnt fight her I was like a hungry animal the anger wouldnt subside.she was playing with fire and she was doing it to a woman that was known to be very dangerous.The third situation feeling none was there for me....... I was so desperate to keep my place so my baby will come home I started.thinking thoughts of old hustling and that scared me.I never want to live that way again. What I am saying is being clean and sober isnt always peaches and cream my brain can be a weapon of mass destruction for me.I certainly apologize for any and all that I offended hurt or disappointed.And yes I am empowered that its the good thing about walking through hardships, if you hang in and hang on the knowledge you gained is priceless.My lesson is put faith in God........heck even have faith in myself but dont expect so much from people just because they say pretty words.
Posted on: Sat, 26 Apr 2014 00:09:04 +0000
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