My daily meds: If your anything like me you constantly struggle with self worth. I know,I know on the outside it seems like I have it all together. Beautiful family, house over my head , great friends. But most times I lose focus on the eternal and get stuck in the daily routine of dos and donts. Hence the need for daily bread. Anyway I tend to see the daily checklist and demand and beat myself up when I fall short. Getting up at 5am and not exercising with Joe Helms and the crossfit maniacs (joke), not doing personal devotion or devotions with kids before they go to school, not dropping kids off to school (thanks Daryl Lee Christopher Pina for doing that),not kissing the wifey before I leave the house, not making the bed, running late to work for a job thats 2 miles away, not meeting the deadlines at work,eating too much at lunch, spending too much for lunch, not taking the kids for the after school activities (appreciate Chaplain again), not providing dinner for family, eating too much dinner, not cleaning dishes,playing tennis, losing at tennis,not saying I love you to family enough, not hanging with friends as much, losing at candy crush, not putting away the laundry,not having enough $$$ in the bank acct. etc etc. These things are a spec of the disappointments you and I face everyday. I dont do or dont do enough. I look back at the list and how do I not say you suck? Man I am a bad spouse, bad father, bad child,bad employee, bad friend, bad Christian. Pretty dramatic you say? Its even worse if anyone adds to the criticism of not meeting their demands and expectations. I find myself in a dark pit, trying to see if there is any good in me. Trying to battle through the lies, to find some clarity and truth. Honestly one of the most joyous moments of my day is when I come home from work to the pitter patter of shuffling feet and screams of excitement to see me. No complaints , no demands,no expectations just pure joy and love to see me. In the quiet times I am reminded that is how ecstatic my Dad is of me. Not because of what I have done or accomplished but because He created me and demonstrated His love of me. I am of worth!! In those moments He created me and instilled in me gentleness, patience , generosity, encouraging spirit, loyalty,a forgiving heart. I am challenged today to speak life into others. Reminding them and treating them as God sees them not how they fall short. I truly appreciate my brothers who loves me unconditionally and reminds me of my worth to them and God.
Posted on: Tue, 04 Nov 2014 16:17:39 +0000
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