My life changed drastically...never to be the same again...12 years ago this afternoon. We have discussed death and emotions at different times on here...these are my emotions today. I posted my thoughts the other day about Tims laugh and his voice the last time I heard them...I havent forgotten...Tim died 12 years ago this afternoon. I got a phone call from his friend Brad that he was on his way to Tims as his buddy called and Tim was dead. We hung up and I tried to understand what I had just been told...about that time the phone rang again and it was a police officer from Maricopia County in Arizona and he said that Tim was found in his bed dead....who has a key to the house and what mortuary should he contact. I told him Brad was on his way. Emotions today...why didnt they have our local police/minister come tell us in person and Tim was 35 years old...how did I know who had a key...I was in Montana and had no idea of the mortuaries in Arizona. 12 years later I still miss Tim ...I think about him everyday...not constantly but fleeting memories. There will be someone or I will see something that will bring him to mind...I still will get the hot rush and the physical lump in my throat and ache in my chest but it is much shorter and less frequent...most of the time I end up with a smile on my face and happy thoughts...I see a dragonfly and I always know Tim is close...he called them helicopters when he was little and I can see his fat little hands clapping...I had a set back in 2007 as Ben died but I am living again....back on the healing track. I thank God everyday for having Tim and his sister Tammy in my life. I am thankful Tim knew he was loved...I am thankful for Tims buddy Brad and Maria our attorney in Arizona...both are still in my life.... Mothers and loved ones take heart..you never get over it...you do get through it....you still have the pain but it is much less intense...memories of the hurtful times soften and you develop a new kind of love for your child...a distant one but comforting in knowing that you will see them again some day. I hope this can help you...I know it has me.
Posted on: Thu, 01 Jan 2015 02:25:24 +0000
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