My mom used to tell me when I was a young teenager that when a boy broke my heart, it would hurt more than I could have ever imagined. But now Ive had my heart broken by a woman. She stole my heart and soul and captivated me from the minute she walked into the room, and now I feel like a ticking time bomb. Almost ten months later, here I am. And I am not okay, and my heart will never be the same. But today is the first day of the rest of my life without her. And I guess that through all the memories that will replay in my head and all the tears that I can no longer cry because I have none left, I just have to do my best to make myself eat, to make myself get out of bed, or to even make myself go to work and pay my bills. I apologize in advance if I begin to disappear or dont make the effort to keep in touch with many of you. If youre in Myrtle Beach, know that I have a handful of people here that will look after me and make sure Im okay because you guys cant be here to get me through this. Im really homesick right now, but I know you guys are just a phone call or a message away. Please dont get upset if I dont answer you when you check on me; I promise I will get back to you at some point. A womans heart is a fragile thing to begin with, and when it is broken, she does her best to heal. I am completely broken right now, and I will be for a long time. I dont feel strong, but I know that I am, and I have plenty of people to remind me of that. Right now I cannot function, right now I cannot picture a life without the person who I thought was my soul mate, but I can take comfort in knowing that this will shape me into the woman I will become. I have a lot of love to give, and I cant wait to find the girl who will not only accept it, but appreciate it. I thought I found that, but it looks like something better is in store. Right now I cant imagine anybody better... But I have to tell myself that she is out there, and she is waiting for me. I never show weakness unless I really trust somebody, and I never post about deeply personal things for the world to see, but this is something that I want everyone to know. Because now, I know what its like to invest your heart and soul into somebody and be left in the end. I know what its like to feel like Im not enough, because Im not. Even though she gave me some of the best moments of my life, the better moments have to be ahead. Because it doesnt stop here. It doesnt stop with this heartbreak. My life is not over. Maybe... Just maybe... This is only the beginning. And if youre going through the same thing, I promise that the same can be said for you. Just like one of my favorite songs says... I know my heart will never be the same, but Im telling myself Ill be okay. Even on my weakest days... I get a little bit stronger.
Posted on: Sat, 26 Jul 2014 15:20:18 +0000
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