My true story. Mine. Im stepping out of my comfort zone here and sharing something very present, very very personal, that has occurred...that has crushed, broken my heart. Im not sure I should be sharing...But, I am. I ask for prayer that I heal, I mend, though Im certain never completely, but better than it feels now. I hope and think weve raised our own sons better than a man I trusted, loved, was certain was loyal, honest has treated me. No woman should be treated the way Ive been... Ive been in utter shock from finding out the man I trusted, loved, who I was certain was loyal, honest, full of integrity, goodness, loving and even believed he was thinking of asking me to marry him...was seeing me and someone else at the same time. Theres more. Im trying hard to recover from this shocking, nightmarish ordeal that keeps unraveling, revealing more things that are now matching the sick, shocking puzzle. I shake and tremble uncontrollably when I think of this. So sick. I discovered...yes, I was clueless, literally clueless that this man, who I trusted with my whole heart, who I thought was seeing me and only me would be the person Im now faced to realize is...evil, very very evil. Three weeks ago, the heartbreaking reality keeps unfolding worse than I thought it could, to now know how horribly I was treated. While seeing me on what I felt was a consistent basis, he was planning an elaborate, very organized, well planned, huge wedding, with formal gowns, bridesmaids, groomsmen, photo curtain, flower girl, invitations, family in from out of town -- loads of people ... I had no idea. I didnt even know she existed ... yes, I was clueless. I trusted him completely. Here I thought I was the only one in his life. And yes, I truly believed he was pondering, thinking of asking me to marry him. What a dummy I was, huh. And, I knew nothing. Suspected nothing. Again, I didnt even know she existed, let alone to find out -- more of the shock -- he got married. He led two lives... Crushed in the worst possible way that someone would treat me or any woman in such a manner. In the worst way possible. Someone I not only trusted completely, but loved completely. Now, brain racing constantly...I begin to retrace everything, in non stop thinking mode...now realizing little things that I never noticed before ... I so trusted him, I believed him totally...A very few close, dear friends know more. It all seems to be coming together now...this nightmare. Here he was inviting himself over to my home .... my now realizing someone was moving into his...while he was over at mine. Is this sick, or what. The shock, the horror of realizing so much now has me shaking, trembling, even panicky. In his career, hes quite successful. I think with his success, and power came a sense that people (as in employees) can be terminated and taken care of. I was just to be disposed of, that I was to be eliminated, was in the way. I just one day...never heard from him again. Sad, but true story that I am not sure I should be sharing. But, I have. When will the shaking, the panicking stop. Its a nightmare noone should ever have to endure. I ask for prayer, for strength, for my trust in humanity to return.
Posted on: Fri, 05 Dec 2014 03:21:42 +0000
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