NEED HELP I have this reoccurring dream all the time, I’m walking on a Southampton beach on Eastern Long Island. I have a large bass in my left hand and surf rod over my shoulder. I can feel the sand coming through my toes, the wind is blowing the surf grass, the waves are crashing. My dream then takes me to Alpine racing, I can feel the snow and the pressure on my legs and ankles and the sensation of speed and working through the gates in a giant slalom. I then find myself walking to a dock where there are several kids fishing, I sit down and start teaching them. Somewhere between fishing with the kids and riding my horse Badger in Colorado the smell of leather and the sweat of the horse remind me of Elk hunting in Colorado with my dear friend Dan Harrison. I wake up and I always try to move my legs, I reach down and find my lifeless body below my chest, first my colostomy bag and then my urine tube, an incredible black depressive ugly blanket of depression roles over me. I feel so helpless. My pillow is wet from apparently the tears during the dream. However the dream always is beautiful and wonderful so am I actually crying during the dream? It takes me about 30 minutes to recover and usually by 7 o’clock I’m lifting weights or I’m on my bicycle before work. Psychologists don’t work very well for me but a friend of a friend of a psychologist told me I’m in denial, what a bunch of horse pucky, I live an active life, I spend most of my time trying to help and aspire other people, I fight through the pain of my disability everyday and I never give up, that does not sound like denial to me. I want this dream to go away because I have felt that blanket of depression when they told me I had 5 days left to live. I have prayed on this but it doesn’t seem to help, I wonder what this dream really means. Please share this with someone in need. Tred Barta
Posted on: Tue, 09 Sep 2014 17:12:22 +0000
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