Negative validation — that is, support behaviors that communicate that the feelings, actions, or responses of the recipient are normal and appropriate to the situation — did resonate with people with low self-esteem, on the other hand. (People with high self-esteem tended to respond well to either positive reframing or negative validation.) So why dont people with low self-esteem respond to positive reframing? Taking the example of someone positively reframing their partners anxiety about a job interview, the researchers write that positive reframing may suggest to some ... that their anxiety about the upcoming event is unfounded and that their relationship partner does not truly understand or accept their feelings. The comforter may then react negatively to the comfortees lack of responsiveness, leading to a negative cycle. None of this is to say the cheer-uppers are bad friends or partners, or that they lack empathy. The authors point out that its simply hard for people who have high self-esteem to slip into a properly empathetic mode when dealing with people who lack it — they even cite research showing that people who know when to steer clear of positive reframing have a tendency to slip into it nonetheless. It can be exhausting dealing with someone who appears to simply refuse to feel better. Even if youre well-versed on mental-health issues and know this not a helpful response, at a certain point its extremely tempting to say, Get over it! The sun will rise tomorrow. Lets go get a beer.
Posted on: Sun, 28 Sep 2014 15:17:37 +0000