Never let anybody tell you how long you can read or how deeply grieve. As much as you need to get on your life, there are always trigger points when even just for a moment two years later, you might silently still go through just a flash of grief, even the best of times, and in the best of situations, and even if you have dusted off your feet and got through life. I lost my first wonderful wife to a drunk driver eight weeks have married. She was only 23 years old, and I was 25 years old. Occasionally, as life goes, I still have to deal with that shattering the grief, just momentarily mind you, not to dwell on it, but to acknowledge it, because not to do so is not human. 43 years later I lost my second wonderful wife and soulmate, in a marriage made in heaven, from undetermined causes, and just occasionally, there are some days when I hear off someone dying from an undetermined cause, I still get a twinge of grief passing through me. I am happily married now and again for almost three years, and I am married to a wonderful lady who lost her husband to cancer about 14 years ago, and sometimes just, occasionally, as were driving around and/or just talking with others who have only had one spouse and can make jokes about death, and seeing things around us, in our social events, I can still spot that faraway look in her eye, and I know that she has experienced, just a moment,-- just a flashback, a moment of grief. Once again neither her or I dwell in the grief for more than a moment, but we both can honestly knowledge to each other that the flashback has happened, and as long as it happens without remorse, and without dwelling upon it, we jointly know that it is still okay to do so. Alternatively, it is unhealthy to grovel and dwell on grief for too long, because death and grief are a part of our lives. To dwell grief too long is an insult and is a slap in the face of God, who always provides for us . At the best, over lives are but a vapour, and usually only as we enter the latter phases of our life on earth do we realize the full impact of the fact that life passes us like a flash of dark. In our case we silently know, that when you get married again at this point in your life, there will come another day in the not too distant future where one of us will burry the other. That is a hard fact of life, and grief will once more be on our doorstep to remind us that eternity is never far away, even when you are young and agile and have a full life ahead of you. God bless everyone today,who have not yet experienced grief, and God be with everyone who are just now still in the process of grieving.
Posted on: Thu, 13 Mar 2014 09:53:51 +0000
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