No one will read this but I thought it might be important to remind myself that its not all bad. So- we always hear about the negative, the struggles, the symptoms, and the terrible stigma and stereotypes dealt with. But I’ve come to realize there are more positives than people know and that I should start focusing more on them. You may or may not be able to relate to some of these- but I think accepting yourself is a big part of recovery and that these have helped me. Anyone with any knowledge of BPD will recognize how these apply. Passionate. The people and things we love come first always. Extreme intense passion towards someone or something we love. Because of this, relationships are really awesome sometimes for us and the other person, and we’re more likely to succeed at putting our mind to the things we love (hard work, tasks, etc.) because it means so much. It’s life not just an activity. Loyal. One of the main symptoms of BPD is fear of rejection and abandonment. Obviously, that fear and pain dealt with can cause us to be extremely loyal and will always have people’s backs because we know what it is like to lose someone or fear that- or, it can even be a fearful kind of action to show the person how much they mean to us so they don’t leave- may be unhealthy and painful for us but I have found when I do this, go out of my way to be extremely loyal and there (not often) it calms my fears because they respond nicely- and strengthens the friendship or relationship. So, that leads me to 3…. Caring/Sympathetic/empathetic/ Understanding. Good luck trying to find someone more caring than someone with BPD. Someone that has BPD feels things deeper and longer than others. Their emotions are naturally stronger, last longer, and don’t always process/regulate the way most people’s do- all of this because of the way our brain is formed and developed. Anyway- because of this understanding of pain and turmoil, we often can relate to others and help others. The care and concern we portray is always real. We’ll most likely know exactly what to say, too, because we say what we would have loved to hear when in pain. Protective. Kind of like what I wrote about loyalty up there. Ever met a guy with BPD? Probably has some of the best natural protective instincts ever. Not just the guys (I’m a girl), but more common and obvious in them. He will naturally keep watch for you, Example: when in crowds, will make you walk in front of him instead of behind so he can keep watch over you. If you’re behind him, he’ll want to hold your hand or keep looking back. He/she doesn’t do it because he thinks “I gotta protect her/him.” He/she does it naturally with no thought at all. Why? Because of the care, the love, the passion towards them- the intense emotions felt by someone with BPD doesn’t always have to be negative.. leads me to… Intense. Not the bad, intimidating kind. Although when trying to be protective that can come in handy. Intense- the obviously stronger love, care, compassion, passion, understanding, and loyalty portrayed and felt by people with BPD because of how we are developed. Selfless. With all the love and care going on, wouldn’t it make sense? We give and give for the other person to feel the love we have rarely ever felt in our lives- probably because we aren’t always capable. Giving alone makes us feel loved. Strong. People with BPD struggle. A lot. Because of the way the emotions are processed/regulated, every emotion comes at them 100 times harder. A nice way to put it would be usually, your worst is their best. We are the ones still standing, we are alive and strong, and what someone may look at as overwhelming/stressful, we may look at as a piece of cake compared to the rest of the shit we have dealt with. Brave. Kind of related to the loyalty/protection/passion. Not afraid to stand up to people, and speak our mind about the things we care about. One of the main BPD symptoms is impulsiveness. Although not a good thing in itself, when taught to keep a proper balance, it can be used to be bold and brave. Kind. Kind of self explanatory with the rest of what I said. Kindness as a whole, in my opinion, is multiple traits put together. Sympathy, understanding, caring, etc. Compassionate/loving. Like I stated, it’s more intense, it’s stronger, and it’s quite interesting to experience in a relationship or friendship. Curious. People with BPD think. A LOT. It leaves questions, concerns, and keeps things lively. Think of a curious child that wants to learn and explore. Leaders/Decision making. Although people with BPD are highly capable of feeling empathy, someone has to be assertive and bold and make decisions, right? People with BPD are able to be assertive or bold with others and able to let go easily (Could be because of the splitting symptom- whole different topic) Although to be used properly must have a proper balance with that symptom. Individualistic. We’re our own person alright. Insightful. Since we have dealt with so much pain, we are able to draw on these experiences for the present moment- via self awareness, helping ourselves and others. Dependence. Ok, important not to get overboard with this as most people with BPD do, but does it have to be bad? People with BPD fear rejection, being alone, and abandonment far more than you’ll ever imagine. They depend on you to not make that happen- in a relationship, in my opinion, dependence can be a good thing. Tough. Kind of like what I wrote about strong… but in this case, physical. All of the pain has formed us to be quite the fighter/warrior, and physical pain is hardly anything compared to the inner pain we have felt. I dunno, I find that when I accidentally hurt myself or if someone hurts me, it isn’t as bad anymore. It’s something that can be dealt with. Which can be a reason why most people with BPD self-harm- it can be dealt with and controlled. A sense of control over themselves. People with BPD sometimes process physical pain differently and may actually find it appealing because of their self-harm habits. So, that is my list for now with the help of psychology, therapists, and others experiences. Feel free to share what you came up with. Obviously, the down side to all this is we are just as capable to feel negative things just as strong as these positives.
Posted on: Mon, 31 Mar 2014 23:35:03 +0000
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