Officer: Park! Park! Yes...can I see what you have in the boot? Ok, ok, lets see whats inside the car first, these files and papers, what are they for? Me: Work files, sir. Officer: Ok...whos XYZ LTD? Me: My client sir. Thats a Local Purchase Order issued to my firm, by XYZ. Officer: Can I see your work ID card? Me: It got damaged during work recently, and Im yet to replace it. But at PLANEX, we do this and that. You can see, the vehicle is branded. I have business cards and... Officer: Im afraid those do not count. How do I know you are not impersonating PLANEX? And you have the letterhead of XYZ LTD, where is the authorization given to you to carry another companys document? Its illegal possession of document. Me: Its my document, no longer that of XYZ. You can see the LPO is addressed to my company. Officer: Its not your document. The letterhead identifies who owns it. Forget about the content of the paper. Its not your document. This is illegal possession of document. You cannot be carrying another companys property about without authorization; it is fraudulent. Me: Sorry sir, I assume you are a graduate? Officer: Whats the meaning of that? Of course Im a graduate! I went to ABU. Me: Good. Did ABU issue you an authorization accompanying your certificate, since the certificate is in the schools letterhead? Officer: Ok, even if this paper is yours, where is your ID card to show you truly work for PLANEX? Youll have to call your lawyer because were going to the station. You cannot have all these documents and theres nothing to prove who you are. Me: When did not holding an ID card become a criminal offence? Or do I look like the wanted man youre looking for? Officer: Oh, how did you even know Im looking for a wanted man? Youre just implicating yourself. Me: Theres nothing incriminating there. A wanted man is not necessarily a criminal anyway. Officer: Look, were going to the station. You can call your lawyer. You think its a joke! You dont have an ID card and youre talking bunkum! Me: Youve not accused me of anything, sir. My lawyer will like to know my charge. Officer: Tell him were on stop-and-search for security reasons; we have our information. And that you could not identify yourself, so weve taken you to the station. ***Officer enters car, we head for the station a few yards away.*** Me: You talk as if you didnt know I could just walk into that business center over there and return with some ID card. Why should a police officer of the 21st century rely on such a document anyway? Anyone can generate an ID card. You can see copies of my company documents bearing the same signature as the one on my drivers licence and international passport here... Officer: Those ones do not identify anything solid. It is for you to prove to me that youre a law-abiding citizen with a verifiable livelihood. Me: Thats your job, not mine, sir. My job is to make claims. Yours is to confirm or refute those claims with facts. I have claimed my relationship with PLANEX. When we get to your office, I expect you log into your computer to check out my claims. I did the National ID Card, have done the biometric drivers licence, have an e-passport. You should have a proper national database so checking up my claims should be an easy job for a police officer of your standing. Officer: Are you not the one that gave whatever information we may have in the national database? You could as well have lied, youre a smart guy! How can I rely on such information? Me: If you cannot rely on such information then why do you want to rely on a mere ID card I do not have, to be produced by the same probable liar? Im going to your station because I expect you have facilities to do your search. Im afraid I cant drive on since it appears you dont have such facilities. Ill have to pull over at the front so you can let me continue my journey, sir. Officer: Look, you think youre smart abi? You think youre arrogant abi? Dont provoke me o. I have treated you with respect because youre a young man like me. Were on stop-and-search. I have the right to arrest you if I suspect you are a criminal. The law allows that! You should know that! Me: Of course I also know that the law expects your suspicion of crime to be rational, not arbitrary. Youre infringing on my rights on many fronts, sir. Obviously youre arresting me for three things: one, because you feel I think Im too smart; two, you want to test the part of the law that says you are free to suspect and arrest; three, you are accusing me of not having a document you have admitted youll not trust anyway even if I had it. Why are you doing this, sir? Officer: Im doing this because youre arrogant! Look at the way youre talking to an officer of the law! You dont know I can send you to jail if I want! I can just pretend to search you car compartments and drop ammunition there, and claim I found them there, and theres nothing youll say to free yourself. Youll be crying like a baby when they show you on TV with ammunition all around. Youll be begging for leniency! All this your grammar will not save you. I can do that. Even if your father is Obasanjo, before you come out of the case, youll hear nwii. *** I pull over, realising suddenly how vulnerable I could have become*** Me: I seeeee! I know you can frame me up, but you cant exactly be sure how such framing-up will end. You have the power to affect me in your own capacity, but I also have my own means of affecting you. So what exactly do you want, Officer? Officer: I want to let you know that you dont have to frown your face whenever a police officer stops you, just because you think he wants money. From start you just frown your face. You people are too arrogant. Im not a hungry man. How much you wan give me sef? Pata-pata 500 naira. Shey na that one go make me dey pamper you like woman? (Immanuel James Ibe-Anyanwu)
Posted on: Sat, 22 Mar 2014 10:18:57 +0000
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