Oh, youre sleeping, Mama. Im sorry. His face, once spattered in freckles and plump with childhood now stared down at me with the uncertainty of almost-a-man-hood. I reached out a hand in the dark to touch his and that was all it took. He plopped down on the bed beside me. He needed to talk and he needed me to listen. I brushed sleep aside, bit back mention of the hour, and settled in to receive whatever pieces of himself he was about to share with me. Because its always like that, isnt it? The words of the mostly-grown come tumbling out at the strangest times. And sitting there listening to him I was reminded of a time, more than a decade before, when this same boy had sneaked into my room one night. He didnt wake me that time but instead hovered right by my bed and began to whisper the most earnest confession. Hed snitched a pudding cup earlier that day and he couldnt sleep with the searing of his conscience. It was an imperfect confession considering he believed me asleep but it was a response to the Spirits prodding and I still remember clearly how my eyes stung with tears and my throat closed while listening. He finished emptying his burdened heart into the quiet room and slid out. Hearing him stop at the bathroom I slipped from my covers and hurried to his room, ready to meet him when he returned. Moments later, he began to climb into bed when I gently grabbed hold of his little frame and whispered, I forgive you. His shoulders relaxed and he melted into me. It was what he needed to hear. It was enough. The years have changed him markedly. Hes independent and wildly confusing. I cant quite figure him out and he doesnt fit into any of the boxes I try squishing him into. But one thing remains very much the same. His need to center himself at my side when his world tips a little. And sleep-deprived as I ever may be, I hope to always see the honor in being sought out by this beautiful boy God gave me to raise up. Because what an honor it has always been. Shared with you via my friend Kasey at Walking Redeemed.
Posted on: Thu, 15 Jan 2015 17:51:43 +0000
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