Ok, I have been a bit stumped as to how I want to address this issue but there really is no way to sugar coat this. I have received a number of calls and had a ton of conversations with upset parents and coaches about their kids and their players. Topics: 1. playing time 2. other kids playing over yours 3. coaches breaking your kid down 4. confidence 5. team hopping 6. parents OMG PEOPLE! lets just get something clear... a majority of these kids are 12-14 years old, this in my opinion, is still when softball should be fun and stress free! YES, 14 is now an age colleges are looking at kids but seriously that % of kids getting looked at isnt big. Definitely not big enough to have coaches and parents putting so much pressure on their kids for NO REASON. Lets back track and define FUN... again this is all MY (Ashley VanBoxmeer) opinion... Softball fun is waking up at 5 am for your first game, the smell of the fresh cut grass, seeing my team mates, getting dirty, wanting to be the hero of a game, cheers in dugouts, seeing friends on other teams or from school.... winning and losing! THE GAME SHOULD BE FUN. Yes I am so so proud of all my girls who played this past weekend and I LOVE hearing all the positive feedback, that is why we work hard week after week together. BUT, what impresses me the most is hearing how you had a bad game and turned it around and got back on track without having a mental break down and needed therapy session. I love hearing my girls say, I didnt get on but I moved the runners, or I got all my bunts down, I stole 5 bases and took 3 extra bases. That is the best feedback. I really REALLY wish I could clap my hands and take away all these tournaments invitationals showcase and every other marketing word for PRESSURE I can find. You want your kid to love softball and DEVELOP ? here are some tips you should try: 1. PLAY IN FRIENDLYS - whats a friendly? a friendly is 3-4 teams who rent a ball field for a weekend or even a day and play each other. Why friendlys? because there is no pressure, no trophy, no all-star BS game, no RULES. You can start innings in situations, you can play girls in different positions (and everyone can play= HAPPY PARENTS) and try new things without having to worry about winning and losing. 2. A GOOD COACH, needs to put their ego aside and if they really want to COACH their players, stop stop stop worrying about the W and the L. Your victory comes from seeing those girls faces smile everyday at practice and games! Victory for ME as a coach is watching my girls think for themselves, do something on their own without someone telling them to, LEARNING THE GAME is SUCCESS to me. Same for you parents, back off! You want to see what kind of kid your girl is, watch how she handles failure. Does she cry, pout, point the finger? does mom or dad come running to the rescue? Do you think that will happen when she grows up and gets to college? NOT A CHANCE! stay away from the dugout, dont coach from the stands, sit back and enjoy your kid growing up. Its crazy what your child knows before you tell them and from experience, hearing my parents shouting encouraging words made me want to work harder every single day. Dont steal the fun from the game... 3. NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER discuss stats! Seriously, ive been out to these games the past few weekends, ive seen the competition. There is no reason why anyone should not be crushing the ball. Why are some kids not doing as well as they should be? Its between the ears, fear of failure, fear of getting chewed out by parents or coaches, and my favorite.... fear of being dropped in the line up. My players know, if you are not doing YOUR JOB to help the team, you should be thankful you just got dropped in the line up instead of parked on the BENCH bc guess what... higher levels dont carry 10 girls for equal playing time and there will be someone behind you who will get the job done so ... YOU WILL BE BENCHED! People this is a game of failure, and you do not get better at anything without overcoming adversity and failure. Accountability.... learn it girls! Stop blaming coaches for EVERYTHING, no one is perfect and we cant please everyone, you want your kid to play every inning of every game, go back to recball and brag about how good ur kid is. you want your kid to grow as a player and a person, challenge her, make her learn what it feels like to earn something. Im sorry if you took offense to any of this, it was not my intention. I am a very passionate person for this game and see too much negativity at ball fields its hard for me to be at. I have watched some amazing softball players and then overheard their parents in the stands talking trash on other players and parents ON THEIR OWN TEAM!!!, or running to the dugouts nagging their kids. In my head Immediately I said no way would I take that kid any more. And its not just me, COLLEGE COACHES ARE EVERY WHERE AND HEAR EVERYTHING PARENTS. I am not kidding when I tell you to be quiet and be positive. Do you want to be the reason your kid suffers? I am not trying to teach parenting or be a know it all, but I do know softball and I know how to work with young women.... Everyone has a roll, learn yours, respect the game, and let your child grow !
Posted on: Mon, 05 May 2014 15:38:03 +0000
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